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"return address" and all that stuff, but she doesn't wanna hear it. At Uncle Gary's last wedding, Gammie handed me a starter letter plus an envelope with her address and a stamp on it so I wouldn't have any excuse not to write. But I STILL haven't filled it in and mailed it yet. So now every time I walk past my desk in my bedroom, I feel guilty.

“回信地址”之类的，但她不想听。 在加里叔叔的上次婚礼上，Gammie给了我一封起始信和一个信封，上面有她的地址和邮票，这样我就没有借口不写信了。 但是我还没有填好并寄出去。 所以现在每次经过我卧室的办公桌时，我都会感到内疚。

Gammie is ALWAYS making you feel guilty. Last year at Thanksgiving, I put a whoopee cushion on her chair, and she sat on it. A few days later everyone in the whole family got a handwritten apology letter from Gammie.

Gammie总是让你感到内疚。 去年感恩节，我在她的椅子上放了个放屁垫，她就坐在上面。 几天后，家里的每个人都收到了一封Gammie手写的道歉信。

Dear Family, I am writing to apologine for the unfortunate As I have gotten older, I have found it more difficult to control my body, and I'm afraid my recent surgery may have contributed to my I hope that this unfortunate mishap does not become the lasting impression of what was otherwise a glorious and blessed occasion. Love, Sammie Sometimes I wonder if Gammie is just messing with everyone and does this kind of thing on purpose. Last Easter she invited the whole family to her house, but everyone had their own thing going on, and nobody went. Gammie called Dad on Easter Sunday and said she'd bought a scratch ticket and won the ten-million- dollar grand prize. Word got around the family quick, and everyone was at Gammie's house in no time flat.

随着年龄的增长，我发现自己越来越难以控制自己的身体，我担心最近的手术可能导致了我的不幸。我希望这一不幸的事故不要成为这一光荣和幸福时刻的持久印象。 爱你的，萨米有时候我在想，杰米是不是故意和大家闹着玩的。 去年复活节，她邀请全家人到她家做客，但每个人都忙着自己的事，没人去。 格米在复活节的星期天打电话给爸爸，说她买了一张刮刮彩票，赢得了一千万美元的大奖。 消息很快在家里传开了，很快大家都到Gammie家去了。

But it turned out the scratch ticket wasn't a winner after all. Gammie didn't seem too bothered that she wasn't a multimillionaire after all, and I have a feeling she got what she REALLY wanted anyway. I hope I live to be ninety-five years old, because if I do, I guarantee you I'll be messing with people, too.

但事实证明，刮刮彩票终究不是赢家。 Gammie并没有因为自己不是百万富翁而烦恼，我有一种感觉，她得到了她真正想要的。 我希望我能活到95岁，因为如果我真活了，我向你保证我也会和人闹翻。

What makes me kind of nervous about going to Gammie's house in November is that it's time for me to get "the Talk." Every time someone in my family gets to be about my age, Gammie sits them down and talks to them about who-knows-what. I guess it's one of those elder-wisdom kinds of things. The last person to get "the Talk" from Gammie was Rodrick, and now I'm next in line. I'm hoping Uncle Gary breaks off his engagement so we don't have to

11月去Gammie家让我有点紧张的是我该接受“ Talk ”了 每次我家里有人和我差不多大的时候，Gammie就会让他们坐下来和他们聊一些天晓得的事。 我想这是长辈们的智慧吧。 上一个从Gammie那听到“谈话”的人是罗德里克，现在轮到我了。 我希望加里叔叔解除婚约，这样我们就不用这么做了

go down there, because the whole thing is making me a nervous wreck. Thursday We've got a new math teacher at our school named Mrs. Mackelroy. She used to teach kindergarten, and I don't think she's real crazy about middle school kids. We have math right after Phys Ed, so by the time we get to Mrs. Mackelroy's room, everyone's all sweaty from exercising. Mrs. Mackelroy complained to the principal and said she can't teach when it smells like a "monkey house" in the room, so the principal said that from now on us

下去吧，因为整件事都快把我逼疯了。 星期四我们学校来了一位新的数学老师，名叫麦克尔罗伊夫人。 她以前在幼儿园教过书，我觉得她不怎么喜欢中学生。 体育课之后还有数学课，所以等我们到麦克尔罗伊老师的教室时，大家都因为运动而大汗淋漓。 麦克尔罗伊太太向校长抱怨说，如果教室里有一股“猴子屋”的味道，她就没法上课了，所以校长从现在起就这么说了