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I knew my chances of getting the part weren't good when the casting people sent me out the door without even asking my name. NEXT! My opportunity was slipping away, so I did what I could to improve my odds. THE NEXT KID I'M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT KID IN LINE IS ALLERGIC TO PEACHES. But it looks like the job is gonna go to a younger kid

after all, which really stinks. You know, this isn't the first time I've been discriminated against because of my age, either. Last October me and Rowley heard that our local news station was going to be at the Red Apple Farm to shoot footage of kids carving pumpkins and making scarecrows and stuff like that. We knew this was our big chance to be on TV, so we plopped ourselves in front of the news camera and really hammed it up. But it took about five seconds for the news people to kick us out.

HEY, GET THOSE CREEPY KIDS OUT OF THERE! Then they brought in some little kids to take our place, and they did the same EXACT thing me and Rowley were doing. I LOVE IT! HA HA! And sure enough, those kids were on the news that night. The truth is, this kind of thing has been going on for a long time. And where it's worst is in my own family.

Up until I was eight or nine, I was the star of every family gathering. It seemed like nobody could get enough of me. I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT... But after Manny was born, things really changed for me. HERE IS MY HANDLE AND HERE IS MY SPOUT! OH, GROW UP! See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

I guess I can understand why Rodrick's always so grumpy. It's been a long time since he was the center of attention, and believe me, he's not getting any cuter. The person who's lucky is ROWLEY. He's an only child, so at least he doesn't have to worry about being replaced by the next kid to come along. JUST TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT! HURRAY, ROWLEY!

Monday Tonight at dinner Dad told us that his younger brother, Uncle Gary, got engaged to his girlfriend, Sonja. I guess that's great news and all, but Uncle Gary has been married three times before, so this has kind of become a regular thing in our family. In fact, we don't even use growth charts at home, because we can just look at pictures from Uncle Gary's weddings to keep track of our progress.