20

anything. YES! YES! Leonard said Uncle Gary wanted to explain that it was all just a misunderstanding, but he was too afraid that the guys in the seats around them might beat him up if he let Sonja down. So Uncle Gary decided to go along with it. At first I thought Leonard's story was just a joke, but Uncle Gary wasn't exactly jumping out of his chair to say it wasn't true. Anyway, I have a feeling we'll be back next year for Uncle Gary's FIFTH wedding.

After the reception, our family went back to Gammie's house to get changed. I was gathering up my stuff when Dad walked into the room and said Gammie wanted to talk to me. At first I couldn't figure out why Gammie wanted to speak to me in private, but then I realized I was about to get "the Talk." When I walked down the hallway to Gammie's sitting room, I was a little nervous, but I was also kind of excited. Gammie's been around the block about a million times, and I figured she's got a lot of wisdom stored up. And to be honest with you, these days I could really use some. I walked in and shut the door behind me. Gammie was sitting in a fancy chair, so I sat across from her. Once I got settled, Gammie started talking.

Gammie told me that most kids my age are in a big rush to grow up but that if I was smart, I'd enjoy the ride while it lasts. Now, I've heard this same speech from Mom and Dad about a billion times, so I was kind of disappointed by where this was all heading. But Gammie wasn't finished. She said I was getting ready to enter "the Awkward Years" and that my lips were gonna get all puffy and my skin was gonna get bad and my head was gonna look too big for my body until my junior or senior year of high school. Then she said I shouldn't let anyone take my picture for the next few years, because I'd regret it if I did. She told me she gave the same advice to people like Dad and Uncle Gary and Uncle Joe, but they didn't listen to her.

But Gammie STILL wasn't done. She told me that getting older is no walk in the park and that getting

to be her age REALLY stinks. Then she started talking about "hemorrhoids" and "shingles" and a bunch of other stuff I'd never heard of before. I guess she could tell I was confused, so she started rolling down a sock to show me what she was talking about. That's when I excused myself and quickly left the room. I'm glad I got out of there before Gammie decided to take off any more clothes. A half hour later we packed up our things, got in the car, and headed home. I was just happy the weekend was over. I love my relatives and all, but there's only so much family togetherness I can take.

HEY! POOPY DIAPER HERE! Monday It was a drag going back to school today, because it seemed like everyone went to Jordan Jury's party, and of course that was all anyone wanted to talk about. Walking through the older kids' hallway was the WORST. YOU REMEMBER THE MUSTARD? AND THE SPRINKLERS? AND THE BABY POOL AND THE CHOCOLATE SYRUP? I'm actually kind of glad I didn't go. I found out the