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anything. YES! YES! Leonard said Uncle Gary wanted to explain that it was all just a misunderstanding, but he was too afraid that the guys in the seats around them might beat him up if he let Sonja down. So Uncle Gary decided to go along with it. At first I thought Leonard's story was just a joke, but Uncle Gary wasn't exactly jumping out of his chair to say it wasn't true. Anyway, I have a feeling we'll be back next year for Uncle Gary's FIFTH wedding.

任何东西。是的!是的!莱纳德说，加里叔叔想解释这一切只是一个误会，但他太害怕如果他让索尼娅失望了，周围的人可能会打他。 所以加里叔叔决定照做。 一开始我以为莱纳德的故事只是个笑话，但加里叔叔并没有从椅子上跳起来说这不是真的。 不管怎样，我有预感明年我们会回来参加加里叔叔的第五次婚礼。

After the reception, our family went back to Gammie's house to get changed. I was gathering up my stuff when Dad walked into the room and said Gammie wanted to talk to me. At first I couldn't figure out why Gammie wanted to speak to me in private, but then I realized I was about to get "the Talk." When I walked down the hallway to Gammie's sitting room, I was a little nervous, but I was also kind of excited. Gammie's been around the block about a million times, and I figured she's got a lot of wisdom stored up. And to be honest with you, these days I could really use some. I walked in and shut the door behind me. Gammie was sitting in a fancy chair, so I sat across from her. Once I got settled, Gammie started talking.

招待会结束后，我们一家人回到Gammie家换衣服。 我正在收拾东西，这时爸爸走进房间，说Gammie要和我说话。 一开始我不明白为什么Gammie想私下跟我说话，但后来我意识到我马上就要“谈话”了。 当我沿着走廊走到Gammie的起居室时，我有点紧张，但也有点兴奋。 Gammie在这条街上混过无数次了，我觉得她一定有很多智慧。 说实话，这些天我真的需要一些。 我走了进去，随手关上了门。 Gammie坐在一张漂亮的椅子上，所以我坐在她对面。 我一安顿下来，Gammie就开始说话了。

Gammie told me that most kids my age are in a big rush to grow up but that if I was smart, I'd enjoy the ride while it lasts. Now, I've heard this same speech from Mom and Dad about a billion times, so I was kind of disappointed by where this was all heading. But Gammie wasn't finished. She said I was getting ready to enter "the Awkward Years" and that my lips were gonna get all puffy and my skin was gonna get bad and my head was gonna look too big for my body until my junior or senior year of high school. Then she said I shouldn't let anyone take my picture for the next few years, because I'd regret it if I did. She told me she gave the same advice to people like Dad and Uncle Gary and Uncle Joe, but they didn't listen to her.

奶奶告诉我，我这个年龄的大多数孩子都急着长大，但如果我够聪明，我会享受这段时间。 同样的演讲，我从爸爸妈妈那里听了不下十亿次了，所以我对这一切的发展有点失望。 但Gammie还没说完。 她说我即将进入“尴尬的岁月”我的嘴唇会变得浮肿，皮肤会变得糟糕，我的头会看起来太大，不适合我的身体，直到我高中三年级或四年级。 然后她说在接下来的几年里我不应该让任何人给我拍照，因为如果我这样做了我会后悔的。 她告诉我，她也给爸爸、加里叔叔和乔叔叔这样的人提过同样的建议，但他们不听她的。

But Gammie STILL wasn't done. She told me that getting older is no walk in the park and that getting

但Gammie还没说完。 她告诉我变老可不像在公园里散步那么容易

to be her age REALLY stinks. Then she started talking about "hemorrhoids" and "shingles" and a bunch of other stuff I'd never heard of before. I guess she could tell I was confused, so she started rolling down a sock to show me what she was talking about. That's when I excused myself and quickly left the room. I'm glad I got out of there before Gammie decided to take off any more clothes. A half hour later we packed up our things, got in the car, and headed home. I was just happy the weekend was over. I love my relatives and all, but there's only so much family togetherness I can take.

在她这个年纪真的很糟糕。 然后她开始谈论“痔疮”和“带状疱疹”以及一堆我以前从未听说过的东西。 我猜她能看出我很困惑，所以她开始卷下一只袜子给我看她在说什么。 这时我找了个借口，迅速离开了房间。 我很高兴我在Gammie决定脱衣服之前离开了那里。 半小时后，我们收拾好东西，上车回家。 我只是很高兴周末结束了。 我爱我的亲戚和所有人，但我能承受的家庭团聚是有限的。

HEY! POOPY DIAPER HERE! Monday It was a drag going back to school today, because it seemed like everyone went to Jordan Jury's party, and of course that was all anyone wanted to talk about. Walking through the older kids' hallway was the WORST. YOU REMEMBER THE MUSTARD? AND THE SPRINKLERS? AND THE BABY POOL AND THE CHOCOLATE SYRUP? I'm actually kind of glad I didn't go. I found out the

嘿!大便尿布来了！星期一今天回学校真是累人，因为好像每个人都去参加了乔丹·朱尔的派对，当然，这是所有人都想谈论的话题。 穿过大孩子们的走廊是最糟糕的。 你还记得芥末吗？那洒水装置呢？ 婴儿泳池和巧克力糖浆呢？ 其实我还挺庆幸我没去。 我发现