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September Thursday It's been almost two and a half weeks since me and my ex-best friend, Rowley Jefferson, had our big fight. To be honest with you, I thought he would've come crawling back to me by now, but for some reason, that hasn't happened. I'm actually starting to get a little concerned, because school starts back up in a few days, and if we're gonna get this friendship back on track, something needs to happen quick. If me and Rowley really ARE through, that would stink, because the

two of us had a pretty good thing going. Now that our friendship is history, I'm in the market for a new best friend. The problem is, I invested all my time in Rowley, and I don't have anyone lined up to take his place. The two best options I have at this point are Christopher Brownfield and Tyson Sanders. But each of those guys has his own issues. I hung out with Christopher for the last few weeks

of the summer, mostly because he's a really excellent mosquito magnet. But Christopher is more of a summertime friend than a school-year friend. Tyson is nice enough, and we like the same video games. But he pulls his pants all the way down when he uses the urinal, and I don't know if I can ever get past that. The only other kid my age who's not paired up with someone is Fregley, but I ruled him out as best

friend material a long time ago. I'LL BET I CAN FIT YOUR WHOLE FOOT IN MY MOUTH! Anyway, I'm still keeping the door open a crack for Rowley, just in case. But if he wants to save this friendship, he'd better do something fast. Because the way things stand, he's not gonna come out looking very good in my autobiography.

GREG HEFFLEY: A LIFE GREG HEFFLEY CHAPTER 8 CHILDHOOD I used to live near this kid. I think his name was Rupert or Roger or something. With my luck, though, I'll go on to be rich and famous and Rowley will still find a way to ride my coattails.