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CELLULAR TELEPHONE Perfect for kids and the elderly! When I looked more closely, I found out it wasn't an ordinary cell phone. It was called a "Ladybug." The phone didn't have a keypad on it or anything. It only had two buttons: one to call home and one for emergencies. So it's pretty much useless. All my other gifts were clothes and other stuff I didn't really need. I was still hoping I might get that recliner, but once I realized there weren't any places Mom and Dad could be hiding a giant leather chair, I gave up looking. Then Mom told everyone it was time to go into the

dining room to have some cake. Unfortunately, Uncle Joe's dog, Killer, had beaten us to it. I was hoping Mom would go out and get me a new cake, but she just took a knife and cut away the parts the dog didn't touch. Mom cut me a big piece, but by that point I wasn't really in the mood for cake. Especially not with Killer

throwing up little birthday candles under the table. Sunday I guess Mom must've felt bad about how my birthday went down, because today she said we could go to the mall and get a "makeup gift." Mom took Manny and Rodrick along for the ride, and she said they could each pick out something, too, which is totally unfair, because it wasn't THEIR birthday yesterday. We walked around the mall for a while and ended up in a pet store. I was hoping we could pool our money to buy a dog, but Rodrick seemed to be interested in a different kind of pet. Mom handed us each a five-dollar bill and told us we

could buy whatever we wanted, but five bucks doesn't exactly get you very far in a pet store. I finally settled on this really cool angelfish that's all different colors. Rodrick picked out a fish, too. I don't know what kind it was, but the reason Rodrick chose it was because the label on the tank said the fish was "aggressive." Manny spent HIs five bucks on fish food. At first I thought it was because he wanted to feed the fish that me and Rodrick bought, but by the time we got

home, Manny had eaten half the canister. Monday This is the first time I've had my very own pet, and I'm kind of getting into it. I feed my fish three times a day, and I keep his bowl really clean. I even bought a journal so I could keep track of everything my fish does during the day. I have to admit, though, I'm starting to have a little trouble filling up the pages. I asked Mom and Dad if we could buy one of those aquariums and get a ton of fish to keep my little guy company. But Dad said that aquariums cost money and maybe I could ask for one for Christmas.

See, this is what stinks about being a kid. You only get two shots at getting stuff you want, and that's on Christmas and your birthday. And then when one of those days Does come, your parents mess things up and buy you a Ladybug. If I had my own money, I could just buy whatever I wanted and not have to embarrass myself every time I needed to rent a video game or buy a piece of candy or something. Anyway, I've always known that I'll eventually be rich and famous, but I'm starting to get a little concerned