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SILLY BEAR YAWNING, SILLY BEAR SAD. SILLY BEAR SLEEPING, SILLY BEAR GLAD! THE END. I told Mom what I thought of Manny's books, and she said that if they were so easy to write, then I should try writing one myself. So that's exactly what I did. Trust me, it wasn't hard, either. All you have to do is make up a character with a snappy name, and then make sure the character learns a lesson at the end of the book. Now all I need to do is mail this thing off to a publisher and wait for the money to start rolling in.

Wise Up, Mr. Shropsharp! by Greg Heffley Once upon a time there was this man named Mr. Shropsharp who thought all these crazy thoughts. I DON'T KNOW MUCH, BUT I DO KNOW ONE THING: POLAR BEARS ARE SOME USELESS ANIMALS.

One day Mr. Shropsharp took a ride in his car. HERE I GO. But then... OOPS.

MR. SHROPSHARP, YOU WOULD HAVE DROWNED. BUT LUCKILY TOBUK HERE WAS SITTING ON AN ICEBERG, AND HE SAVED YOUR LIFE. BEFORE, I SAID THAT POLAR BEARS ARE SOME USELESS ANIMALS, BUT NOW I CAN SEE THAT NOT EVERY POLAR BEAR IS SO USELESS AFTER ALL. THE END See what I mean? The only thing I noticed after I finished the book was that I forgot to make it rhyme. But the publisher is gonna have to pay me extra if they want that.

Saturday Well, after spending the last two weeks walking to school, I was really looking forward to kicking back and doing nothing for two days. The problem with watching TV on a Saturday is that the only thing that's on is bowling or golf. Plus, the sun comes through our sliding glass window, and you can barely see the TV screen anyway. Today I wanted to change the channel, but the remote was on top of the coffee table. I was all comfortable, with my bowl of cereal in my lap, so I really didn't want to get up. I tried using the Force to make the remote levitate

to me, even though I've tried it a million times before and it's never worked once. Today I tried for about fifteen minutes and concentrated really hard, but no luck. I just wish I'd known that Dad was standing right behind me the whole time. Dad told me I was gonna have to go outside and get some exercise. I told Dad I exercise all the time and just this morning I used the bench press he got me. But I should have come up with something more believable, because it was pretty obvious that wasn't true.