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slipped, and I was left hanging there. I tried to pull myself back up, but I didn't have the strength. I probably would've been able to do it, but the only thing I had to eat today was a grape soda and the frosting off of a piece of cake, so I had no energy. I yelled for help, but I really wish I didn't call attention to myself. Because right when everyone came over to see what was going on, my pants came loose and fell down around my ankles. It wouldn't have happened if I was wearing my own pants. But I never washed my dress pants after they got that chocolate all over them, so I was borrowing a pair of Rodrick's pants, which were about two sizes too big on me. The situation was humiliating enough, but then I realized something even worse. I was wearing my Wonder Woman Underoos.

滑倒了，我被吊在那里。 我试着把自己拉起来，但我没有力气。 我本来是可以做到的，但是我今天唯一要吃的东西就是一杯葡萄汽水和一块蛋糕上的糖霜，所以我没有精力。 我大声呼救，但我真希望自己没有引起别人的注意。 因为就在大家都过来看怎么回事的时候，我的裤子松了下来，绕着脚踝掉了下来。 如果我穿着自己的裤子就不会发生这种事了。 但我从来没洗过我的正装裤子，因为上面沾满了巧克力，所以我借了一条罗德里克的裤子，我穿它大了两码。 这种情况已经够丢脸的了，但后来我意识到更糟的事情。 我穿着神奇女侠内裤。

Eventually, Dad ran over and helped get me down, but not before Mr. Snella got the whole thing on tape. And something tells me that this time around, he has a good shot at the "America's Funniest Families" Grand Prize. After that, Dad hustled me home, and I thought he was gonna be really mad at me. But it turns out that my accident happened right when Dad was next up to go in front of Seth Snella, so I saved him from having to take his turn. And get this: Dad thinks I faked the whole thing to bail him out.

最后，爸爸跑过来把我扶了下来，但在那之前，斯内拉先生把整个过程都录了下来。 直觉告诉我，这一次，他很有可能获得“全美最搞笑家庭”大奖。 那之后，爸爸催我回家，我以为他会很生我的气。 但事实证明，我的事故发生时，正好是爸爸下一个要去赛斯·斯奈拉面前的时候，所以我救了他，让他不用轮到他了。 听着，爸爸认为我为了救他而伪造了整件事。

THAT'S MY SON! SLAP I wasn't about to correct him, either. I made myself a big bowl of ice cream, sat down in front of the TV, and tried to enjoy the rest of my one day of freedom as best I could. Sunday When I woke up this morning, it was a quarter past 11:00. I couldn't figure out why I was still in bed, because Dad was supposed to drive me to Spag Union at 8:00. So I went downstairs. Dad was sitting at the kitchen

那是我儿子！我也没打算纠正他。 我给自己做了一大碗冰淇淋，坐在电视机前，尽我所能地享受这一天的自由时光。 当我今天早上醒来的时候，已经十一点一刻了。 我不明白为什么我还在床上，因为爸爸应该在8点开车送我去射击联盟。 于是我下楼去了。爸爸坐在厨房里

table reading the paper, and he wasn't even dressed yet. When I walked into the kitchen, Dad told me we could "rethink" this military academy thing. He said maybe I could just do some push-ups and sit-ups every once in a while, and that would be just as good as the summer conditioning program at Spag Union. I couldn't believe my ears. I guess Dad felt like he owed me for saving him yesterday, and this was his way of paying me back. I walked out of the house and went up to Rowley's before Dad could change his mind. And on my way up the hill, I realized that I was on summer vacation.

桌上看报纸，他还没穿好衣服。 当我走进厨房时，爸爸告诉我，我们可以“重新考虑”军校的事。 他说也许我可以偶尔做一些俯卧撑和仰卧起坐，这和射击联盟的夏季训练项目一样好。 我简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。 我猜爸爸觉得他欠我昨天救了他，这是他报答我的方式。 我走出屋子，赶在爸爸改变主意之前去了罗利家。 在我上山的路上，我意识到我在放暑假。

I knocked on Rowley's door, and when he answered, I told him I didn't have to go to Spag Union after all. Rowley didn't even know what I was talking about, so that just shows you how clueless he can be sometimes. We played Rowley's Twisted Wizard 2 for a while, and then his parents kicked us out of the house. So

我敲了敲罗利的门，他开了门，我告诉他我根本不用去射击联盟。 罗利甚至都不知道我在说什么，所以你知道他有时候有多笨。 我们玩了一会儿罗利的扭曲巫师2，然后他的父母把我们赶出了房子。 所以

we grabbed some popsicles and went and sat on his front curb. You'll never believe what happened next. A really cute girl I had never seen before walked up to us and introduced herself. She said her name was Trista and that she just moved in down the street. I looked at Rowley, and it was pretty obvious he was thinking what I was thinking. So it took me about two seconds to come up with a plan.

我们拿了一些冰棍，走到他家门前的路缘上坐下。 你绝对不会相信接下来发生了什么。 一个我从未见过的非常可爱的女孩向我们走来并自我介绍。 她说她叫翠丝塔，刚搬来这条街。 我看着罗利，很明显他和我想的一样。 所以我花了大约两秒钟的时间想出了一个计划。