21

slipped, and I was left hanging there. I tried to pull myself back up, but I didn't have the strength. I probably would've been able to do it, but the only thing I had to eat today was a grape soda and the frosting off of a piece of cake, so I had no energy. I yelled for help, but I really wish I didn't call attention to myself. Because right when everyone came over to see what was going on, my pants came loose and fell down around my ankles. It wouldn't have happened if I was wearing my own pants. But I never washed my dress pants after they got that chocolate all over them, so I was borrowing a pair of Rodrick's pants, which were about two sizes too big on me. The situation was humiliating enough, but then I realized something even worse. I was wearing my Wonder Woman Underoos.

Eventually, Dad ran over and helped get me down, but not before Mr. Snella got the whole thing on tape. And something tells me that this time around, he has a good shot at the "America's Funniest Families" Grand Prize. After that, Dad hustled me home, and I thought he was gonna be really mad at me. But it turns out that my accident happened right when Dad was next up to go in front of Seth Snella, so I saved him from having to take his turn. And get this: Dad thinks I faked the whole thing to bail him out.

THAT'S MY SON! SLAP I wasn't about to correct him, either. I made myself a big bowl of ice cream, sat down in front of the TV, and tried to enjoy the rest of my one day of freedom as best I could. Sunday When I woke up this morning, it was a quarter past 11:00. I couldn't figure out why I was still in bed, because Dad was supposed to drive me to Spag Union at 8:00. So I went downstairs. Dad was sitting at the kitchen

table reading the paper, and he wasn't even dressed yet. When I walked into the kitchen, Dad told me we could "rethink" this military academy thing. He said maybe I could just do some push-ups and sit-ups every once in a while, and that would be just as good as the summer conditioning program at Spag Union. I couldn't believe my ears. I guess Dad felt like he owed me for saving him yesterday, and this was his way of paying me back. I walked out of the house and went up to Rowley's before Dad could change his mind. And on my way up the hill, I realized that I was on summer vacation.

I knocked on Rowley's door, and when he answered, I told him I didn't have to go to Spag Union after all. Rowley didn't even know what I was talking about, so that just shows you how clueless he can be sometimes. We played Rowley's Twisted Wizard 2 for a while, and then his parents kicked us out of the house. So

we grabbed some popsicles and went and sat on his front curb. You'll never believe what happened next. A really cute girl I had never seen before walked up to us and introduced herself. She said her name was Trista and that she just moved in down the street. I looked at Rowley, and it was pretty obvious he was thinking what I was thinking. So it took me about two seconds to come up with a plan.