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I was only about five feet from the bedroom door when the phone in my hand rang and scared the living daylights out of me. SCREAM! SCREAM! I think Dad really did almost have a heart attack. And once he recovered, he didn't look happy to see me.

当我离卧室门只有五英尺的时候，我手里的电话响了，把我吓得魂飞梦飞。 尖叫!尖叫!我觉得爸爸真的差点心脏病发作。 等他恢复后，见到我他看起来不太高兴。

Dad made me get out of his room, and then he slammed the door. I'm sure this episode didn't help my standing with Dad, but I guess at this point it's probably too late, anyway. Tuesday Two days have already passed since I shook hands with Holly, and I didn't want any more time to go by before I spoke with her again. Luckily, Dad and Rodrick weren't home tonight, so I knew I could make a phone call without being bothered. I practiced what I was going to say about a million times, and then I finally worked up the nerve to make the call. I dialed Holly's number, and the phone started

爸爸把我赶出了他的房间，然后砰地关上了门。 我相信这件事对我在爸爸面前的地位没有帮助，但我想现在可能已经太迟了。 星期二我和霍莉握手已经两天了，我不想再浪费时间和她说话了。 幸运的是，爸爸和罗德里克今晚不在家，所以我知道我可以打个电话而不会被打扰。 我把要说的话练习了无数遍，最后终于鼓起勇气打了电话。 我拨了霍莉的号码，电话响了

ringing. But right then Mom picked up the phone downstairs. Mom has this really bad habit of just dialing without checking to see if anyone else is using the phone, and that's what she did tonight. I tried to stop her, but it was no use. BEEP BOOP BEEP MOM BOOP BEEP BEEP MOM The phone kept ringing at the Hills's house, and then someone picked up. It was Holly's mother. Mom was really confused, since she didn't dial the Hills's number in the first place. I just held my breath and waited for it all to be over.

响了。但就在这时，妈妈在楼下拿起电话。 妈妈有一个很坏的习惯，就是不检查别人是否在用电话就直接拨号，今晚她就是这么做的。 我试图阻止她，但没有用。 哔哔哔妈妈，哔哔哔妈妈，希尔斯家的电话一直响个不停，然后有人接了电话。 是霍莉的妈妈打来的。妈妈真的很困惑，因为她一开始就没有拨希尔斯家的电话。 我只是屏住呼吸，等待这一切结束。

HELLO? HELLO? WHO'S THIS? It took Mom and Mrs. Hills a minute to figure out who was on the other end of the line. But once they did, they just started chatting like nothing strange had happened at all. They got into this long conversation about the PTA and the fundraising committee and stuff like that. I couldn't really hang up, because then Mom would hear the click and know someone was on the other end. Eventually, the conversation between Mom and Mrs. Hills turned to me. CALLED HIS BROTHER A "PLOOPY." nkledc. MM HMM...

喂?喂?这是谁?妈妈和希尔斯太太花了一分钟才弄清楚电话那头是谁。 但一旦他们知道了，他们就开始聊天，就像什么都没发生过一样。 他们谈了很长时间关于家长教师协会和筹款委员会之类的事情。 我真的不能挂电话，因为那样妈妈就会听到滴答声，知道电话那头有人打来了。 最后，妈妈和希尔斯太太的谈话转向了我。 称他的兄弟为“笨蛋”。 嗯嗯…

At that point I just put the phone down and went to bed. I figure that a phone call between me and Holly isn't meant to be, so I'm officially giving up. Friday Today at school I overheard Holly tell a couple of her friends that she was gonna meet them at the roller-skating rink tonight, and a lightbulb went on over my head. After school I asked Mom if she'd take me to the Roll-a-Round tonight, and she said yes but I'd have to get a ride home from someone else's parents. So I invited Rowley along. As soon as Rowley showed up at my front door, I knew I made a mistake inviting him.

那时我就放下电话上床睡觉了。 我觉得我和霍莉之间的电话是不可能的，所以我正式放弃了。 星期五今天在学校，我无意中听到霍莉告诉她的几个朋友，她今晚要在旱冰场和他们见面，我突然灵光一闪。 放学后，我问妈妈今晚能不能带我去Roll-a-Round，她答应了，但我得让别人的父母送我回家。 所以我邀请了罗利。 罗利一出现在我家门口，我就知道邀请他是一个错误。

Rowley had his hair all teased up, and he was dressed just like his favorite singer, Joshie. And I think Rowley might have even been wearing sparkly lip gloss, but I can't say for sure. I couldn't stop to worry about the way Rowley looked, though, because I had my own problems. Earlier on I had lost one of my contact lenses, so that meant I had to wear my backup glasses. The lenses on those things are about three inches thick, and they look ridiculous. If I'm not wearing my contact lenses or my glasses, I'm as blind as a bat. I guess I should just feel lucky that I wasn't alive during caveman times, because I wouldn't have been able to hunt or do anything useful. I'm sure my tribe-mates would've ditched me the first chance they got.

罗利把头发梳了起来，穿着和他最喜欢的歌手乔西一模一样。 我觉得罗利可能还涂了闪亮的唇彩，但我不敢肯定。 不过，我不能停下来担心罗利的样子，因为我自己也有问题。 早些时候我丢了一只隐形眼镜，这意味着我必须戴上备用眼镜。 这些东西上的镜片大约有三英寸厚，看起来很可笑。 如果我不戴隐形眼镜或眼镜，我就像蝙蝠一样瞎。 我想我应该感到幸运，因为我没有活在穴居人时代，因为我不能打猎或做任何有用的事情。 我敢肯定我的部落成员一有机会就会抛弃我。