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Eventually the kid's mom came upstairs and told everyone it was time to go to sleep. Even after the lights went out, Rowley and his friends stayed up, talking and giggling. They must have thought I fell asleep, because at one point a bunch of them snuck up on me to try and pull the hand-in-a-bowl-of-warm-water trick. Well, that was enough for me. I went downstairs to

sleep in the basement, even though it was pitch-black down there and I couldn't find the light. I'd left my sleeping bag upstairs, and that was a mistake, because it was freezing in the basement. I did not want to go back upstairs and get my stuff, though. I just curled up in a ball and tried to conserve as much body heat as possible to make it through to the morning. I think it was probably the longest night of my life. When the sun came up this morning, I found out the reason it was so cold in the basement. I was sleeping right by the sliding glass door, and some fool had gone and left it open overnight.

That really stunk, because if I knew there was a way to escape last night, I definitely would've taken it. When I got home this morning, I went back to bed until Dad woke me up and told me it was time to go to the soccer game. It turns out Rodrick was right about the Shag thing. I spent the whole game pulling balls out of the brambles, and let me tell you, it wasn't a whole lot of fun. Our team won the game, and afterward we were supposed to go out to celebrate. Dad couldn't stick around, so he asked Mr. Litch if he would drive me home afterward.

Well, I really wish Dad had asked me what I thought about that idea first, because I would've just gone home with him. I was starving from all that digging around in the bushes, though, so I figured I'd just go with the team. We went to a fast-food place, and I ordered twenty chicken nuggets. I went to use the bathroom, and when I came back to the table, all my food was gone. But then Erick Bickford dumped my nuggets out of his big sweaty hands. If you ever wanted to know why I don't like team

sports, there it is in a nutshell. After lunch was over, me, Kenny Keith, and Erick got into Mr. Litch's car. Kenny sat in the back with Erick, and I sat up front in the passenger seat. We had to wait a long time because Mr. Litch was sitting on the hood of his car, blabbing away with Mr. Boone. After we'd been sitting there for a while, Kenny leaned forward from the back seat and laid on the horn for about three seconds. Then Kenny jumped back in his seat so when Mr. Litch turned around, it looked like I was the one who honked the horn. Mr. Litch gave me a dirty look, and then turned back around and talked to his assistant for another half

hour. On the way home, Mr. Litch stopped to do about five errands. He wasn't in any hurry to get them done, either. And get this: Kenny and Erick were mad at me for making them get home so late. So that should give you a feeling for the type of intelligence I'm dealing with here. Mr. Litch dropped me off last. On the way up the hill, I saw the snellas out in their front yard, and it looked like they were trying to get some clips to send in to "America's Funniest Families." I guess they don't feel like waiting around a few months until Seth's half-birthday party.