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Eventually the kid's mom came upstairs and told everyone it was time to go to sleep. Even after the lights went out, Rowley and his friends stayed up, talking and giggling. They must have thought I fell asleep, because at one point a bunch of them snuck up on me to try and pull the hand-in-a-bowl-of-warm-water trick. Well, that was enough for me. I went downstairs to

最后，孩子的妈妈来到楼上，告诉大家该睡觉了。 甚至在灯熄灭后，罗利和他的朋友们还没睡，有说有笑。 他们一定以为我睡着了，因为有一群人偷偷溜到我身边，试图用手放进一碗温水的把戏。 对我来说，这就够了。 我下楼去

sleep in the basement, even though it was pitch-black down there and I couldn't find the light. I'd left my sleeping bag upstairs, and that was a mistake, because it was freezing in the basement. I did not want to go back upstairs and get my stuff, though. I just curled up in a ball and tried to conserve as much body heat as possible to make it through to the morning. I think it was probably the longest night of my life. When the sun came up this morning, I found out the reason it was so cold in the basement. I was sleeping right by the sliding glass door, and some fool had gone and left it open overnight.

我睡在地下室，尽管那里漆黑一片，我找不到灯。 我把睡袋落在楼上了，这是个错误，因为地下室里很冷。 不过，我不想上楼去拿我的东西。 我只是蜷缩成一团，尽量保存身体的热量，以便熬到早上。 我想这可能是我一生中最漫长的一晚。 今天早上太阳出来的时候，我知道地下室这么冷的原因了。 我就睡在滑动玻璃门旁边，有个傻瓜走了，把门开了一夜。

That really stunk, because if I knew there was a way to escape last night, I definitely would've taken it. When I got home this morning, I went back to bed until Dad woke me up and told me it was time to go to the soccer game. It turns out Rodrick was right about the Shag thing. I spent the whole game pulling balls out of the brambles, and let me tell you, it wasn't a whole lot of fun. Our team won the game, and afterward we were supposed to go out to celebrate. Dad couldn't stick around, so he asked Mr. Litch if he would drive me home afterward.

真的很糟糕，因为如果我知道昨晚有办法逃跑，我肯定会去的。 当我今天早上回到家，我回到床上，直到爸爸把我叫醒，告诉我该去看足球比赛了。 看来罗德里克关于毛的事是对的。 我整场比赛都在从荆棘中捡球，我跟你说，一点都不好玩。 我们队赢了比赛，比赛结束后我们应该出去庆祝。 爸爸实在呆不下去了，于是他问李奇先生之后能不能开车送我回家。

Well, I really wish Dad had asked me what I thought about that idea first, because I would've just gone home with him. I was starving from all that digging around in the bushes, though, so I figured I'd just go with the team. We went to a fast-food place, and I ordered twenty chicken nuggets. I went to use the bathroom, and when I came back to the table, all my food was gone. But then Erick Bickford dumped my nuggets out of his big sweaty hands. If you ever wanted to know why I don't like team

我真希望爸爸能先问问我对这个主意的看法，不然我就跟他一起回家了。 我在灌木丛里挖了那么久，都快饿死了，所以我想我还是跟队伍一起去吧。 我们去了一家快餐店，我点了20块鸡块。 我去了趟洗手间，当我回到餐桌时，我所有的食物都不见了。 但后来埃里克·比克福德把我的金块从他汗湿的大手里掏了出来。 如果你想知道我为什么不喜欢团队

sports, there it is in a nutshell. After lunch was over, me, Kenny Keith, and Erick got into Mr. Litch's car. Kenny sat in the back with Erick, and I sat up front in the passenger seat. We had to wait a long time because Mr. Litch was sitting on the hood of his car, blabbing away with Mr. Boone. After we'd been sitting there for a while, Kenny leaned forward from the back seat and laid on the horn for about three seconds. Then Kenny jumped back in his seat so when Mr. Litch turned around, it looked like I was the one who honked the horn. Mr. Litch gave me a dirty look, and then turned back around and talked to his assistant for another half

体育，简而言之就是这样。 午餐结束后，我、肯尼·基思和埃里克上了利奇先生的车。 肯尼和埃里克坐在后面，我坐在前面的副驾驶座上。 我们等了很长时间，因为利奇先生正坐在他的汽车引擎盖上，和布恩先生唠唠叨叨。 我们在那儿坐了一会儿后，肯尼从后座前倾身子，按了大约三秒钟的喇叭。 然后肯尼跳回座位上所以当利奇先生转过身来的时候，看起来好像是我按的喇叭。 利奇先生恶狠狠地看了我一眼，然后转过身去和他的助手又聊了半天

hour. On the way home, Mr. Litch stopped to do about five errands. He wasn't in any hurry to get them done, either. And get this: Kenny and Erick were mad at me for making them get home so late. So that should give you a feeling for the type of intelligence I'm dealing with here. Mr. Litch dropped me off last. On the way up the hill, I saw the snellas out in their front yard, and it looked like they were trying to get some clips to send in to "America's Funniest Families." I guess they don't feel like waiting around a few months until Seth's half-birthday party.

小时。在回家的路上，利奇先生停下来做了五件事。 他也不急于把它们做完。 听着，肯尼和埃里克因为我让他们这么晚回家而生我的气。 这应该让你对我在这里处理的智能类型有一个感觉。 利奇先生最后送我下车。 在上山的路上，我看到他们家的前院有一群人，看起来他们想拍些短片寄给《美国最有趣的家庭》。 我猜他们不想等几个月直到赛斯的半生日派对。