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than I would have been a week ago. For example, the other day I had a conversation with this neighborhood kid named Shawn Snella. WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA BE A PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYER! THINK AGAIN, SHAWN! NEITHER ONE OF YOUR PARENTS IS TALLER THAN FIVE-FOOT-TWO, AND YOU'RE THE ONLY 200-POUND SIX-YEAR-OLD I KNOW! WAAAH! I CANNOT TELL A LIE. And yesterday, Rowley's family had a birthday party for his grandfather.

NEXT YEAR, I WANT A CHOCOLATE CAKE! THAT IS IF YOU'RE ALIVE NEXT YEAR! HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO BE REALISTIC! Most people don't seem to appreciate a person as honest as me. So don't ask me how George Washington ever got to be president. Saturday Today I answered the phone, and it was Mrs. Gillman from the PTA, looking for Mom. I tried to hand her the phone, but she whispered for me to tell Mrs.

Gillman that she wasn't home. I couldn't tell if Mom was trying to trick me into lying or WHAT, but there was no way I was going to break my honesty streak over something as dumb as THIS. So I made Mom go out on the front porch before I said a word to Mrs. Gillman. MY MOTHER IS NOT INSIDE THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. And from the look Mom gave me when she came back in the house, I kind of get the feeling she's not gonna hold me to that honesty pledge anymore. Monday

Today was Career Day at school. They have Career Day every year to get us kids to start thinking about our future. They brought in a bunch of adults who had all these different jobs. I think the idea is that us kids will find out about a job we like, and then we'll know what we want to be when we grow up. But what REALLY happens is that you just find out which jobs to rule out. After the presentations, we had to fill out these questionnaires. The first question was," Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?" I know EXACTLY where I'll be in fifteen years: in my pool, at my mansion, counting my money. But there

weren't any check boxes for THAT option. The questionnaires are supposed to predict what kind of job you're going to have when you grow up. When I was finished, I looked up my job on the chart, and I got "Clerk." Well, there must be something wrong with the way they set these forms up or something, because I don't know any clerks who are billionaires. Some other kids were unhappy with the jobs they ended up with, too. But the teacher said we shouldn't take these things too seriously. Well, try telling that to Edward Mealey. Last year, he got "Sanitation Worker" on his job chart, and the teachers have been treating him different ever

since. EDWARD, COULD YOU PLEASE CLEAN UP THIS JUICE SPILL? Rowley got "Nurse" on his job chart, and he seemed pretty happy about it. A couple of girls got Nurse, too, and they were chatting away with Rowley after class. Next year I have to remember to sit next to Rowley and copy his job form so I can get in on some of that action.