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I wish they built a time machine And they picked me to go To check out what the scene was like A hundred years ago. Did giant spiders rule the earth? Were deserts filled with snow? I wonder what the story was A hundred years ago. F See me? I guess I learned my lesson about buying a paper off someone. Or at least off of RODRICK. When third period rolled around, I didn't have anything to turn in to Mr. Huff. I guess that means I'll be taking summer school for History. And my day got a whole lot worse after that. When I got home from school, Mom was waiting for me at the front door.

You know that stack of bills I paid Rodrick with? Well, he tried to cash them ALL in at once to get money for a used motorcycle. I'm sure Mom knew something was fishy, since Rodrick has never earned a single Mom Buck on his own. Rodrick told Mom where he got the money, and she dug around my room until she found my stash under the mattress. Mom knew she never put $100,000 into circulation, so she confiscated ALL my cash, even the ones I earned for real. I guess that's the end of the Mom Bucks program. To be honest with you, I'm kind of relieved. Sleeping on that pile of cash every night was really stressing me out. Mom was mad that I tried to put one over on her like

that, so she gave me a punishment. But I got that out of the way before dinner. Thursday Today was Thanksgiving, and it started off like it always does: with Aunt Loretta showing up two hours early.

Mom always makes me and Rodrick "entertain" Aunt Loretta, and that means talk to her until the rest of the family shows up. The biggest fights me and Rodrick have ever had were over who has to greet her first. The rest of the family started trickling in around 11:00. Dad's brother, Uncle Joe, and his kids were the last ones to show up around 12:30. nkledc. Uncle Joe's kids all call Dad the same thing.

HI AUNT FWANK! Mom thinks it's really cute, but Dad swears that Uncle Joe tells his kids to do it on purpose. Things are pretty tense between Dad and Uncle Joe, because Dad is still mad at Uncle Joe for something he did LAST Thanksgiving. Back then, Manny had just started potty training, and he was doing pretty good. In fact, he was probably about two weeks from being out of diapers. But Uncle Joe said something to Manny that changed everything.

BETTER LOOK OUT FOR THE "POTTY MONSTER," LITTLE FELLA! It was six months before Manny would even step foot in the bathroom again. Every time Dad changed a dirty diaper after that, I heard him cursing Uncle Joe under his breath. We had dinner around 2:00, and then people went into the living room to talk. I didn't feel like talking, so I went in the family room to play video games. Eventually, I guess Dad had enough of the family, too, so he went downstairs to work on his Civil War battlefield. But he forgot to lock the door to the furnace room, and Uncle Joe walked in afterhim. Uncle Joe seemed pretty interested in what Dad was