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I wish they built a time machine And they picked me to go To check out what the scene was like A hundred years ago. Did giant spiders rule the earth? Were deserts filled with snow? I wonder what the story was A hundred years ago. F See me? I guess I learned my lesson about buying a paper off someone. Or at least off of RODRICK. When third period rolled around, I didn't have anything to turn in to Mr. Huff. I guess that means I'll be taking summer school for History. And my day got a whole lot worse after that. When I got home from school, Mom was waiting for me at the front door.

我真希望他们能造个时光机然后他们选我去看看一百年前是什么样子。 巨型蜘蛛曾经统治过地球吗？ 沙漠里满是雪吗？ 我想知道一百年前的故事是怎样的。 F看到我了吗？我想我已经吸取了从别人手里买报纸的教训。 或者至少远离罗德里克。 到了第三节课，我没有任何东西可以交给哈夫老师。 我想这意味着我要去上暑期历史学校了。 从那以后，我的日子变得更糟了。 当我从学校回到家时，妈妈在前门等我。

You know that stack of bills I paid Rodrick with? Well, he tried to cash them ALL in at once to get money for a used motorcycle. I'm sure Mom knew something was fishy, since Rodrick has never earned a single Mom Buck on his own. Rodrick told Mom where he got the money, and she dug around my room until she found my stash under the mattress. Mom knew she never put $100,000 into circulation, so she confiscated ALL my cash, even the ones I earned for real. I guess that's the end of the Mom Bucks program. To be honest with you, I'm kind of relieved. Sleeping on that pile of cash every night was really stressing me out. Mom was mad that I tried to put one over on her like

你知道我付给罗德里克的那堆账单吗？ 嗯，他试图一次把它们全部兑现，换一辆旧摩托车的钱。 妈妈肯定知道有什么不对劲，因为罗德里克从来没有靠自己挣过一分钱。 罗德里克告诉了妈妈他的钱是从哪来的，她在我房间里翻了个底朝天直到在床垫下找到了我的钱。 妈妈知道她没有把10万美元投入流通，所以她没收了我所有的现金，包括我真正挣来的。 我想“妈妈鹿”计划到此结束了。 说实话，我有点松了一口气。 每晚睡在那堆钱上真的让我压力很大。 妈妈很生气，因为我想骗她，就像

that, so she gave me a punishment. But I got that out of the way before dinner. Thursday Today was Thanksgiving, and it started off like it always does: with Aunt Loretta showing up two hours early.

所以她给了我一个惩罚。 但我在晚饭前就解决了。 星期四今天是感恩节，它像往常一样开始：洛丽塔阿姨提前两个小时出现。

Mom always makes me and Rodrick "entertain" Aunt Loretta, and that means talk to her until the rest of the family shows up. The biggest fights me and Rodrick have ever had were over who has to greet her first. The rest of the family started trickling in around 11:00. Dad's brother, Uncle Joe, and his kids were the last ones to show up around 12:30. nkledc. Uncle Joe's kids all call Dad the same thing.

妈妈总是让我和罗德里克“招待”洛丽塔姨妈，意思是在家里其他人都来之前一直跟她说话。 我和罗德里克最大的一次争吵就是谁该先跟她打招呼。 11点左右，家里的其他人陆续来了。 爸爸的哥哥乔叔叔和他的孩子们在12:30左右最后出现。 乔叔叔的孩子都这么叫爸爸。

HI AUNT FWANK! Mom thinks it's really cute, but Dad swears that Uncle Joe tells his kids to do it on purpose. Things are pretty tense between Dad and Uncle Joe, because Dad is still mad at Uncle Joe for something he did LAST Thanksgiving. Back then, Manny had just started potty training, and he was doing pretty good. In fact, he was probably about two weeks from being out of diapers. But Uncle Joe said something to Manny that changed everything.

嗨，弗兰克阿姨！妈妈觉得这很可爱，但爸爸发誓说乔叔叔是故意让他的孩子们这么做的。 爸爸和乔叔叔之间的关系很紧张，因为爸爸还在生乔叔叔去年感恩节做的一件事的气。 那时候，曼尼刚刚开始如厕训练，而且他做得很好。 事实上，他可能还有两周就不用换尿布了。 但乔叔叔对曼尼说了什么改变了一切。

BETTER LOOK OUT FOR THE "POTTY MONSTER," LITTLE FELLA! It was six months before Manny would even step foot in the bathroom again. Every time Dad changed a dirty diaper after that, I heard him cursing Uncle Joe under his breath. We had dinner around 2:00, and then people went into the living room to talk. I didn't feel like talking, so I went in the family room to play video games. Eventually, I guess Dad had enough of the family, too, so he went downstairs to work on his Civil War battlefield. But he forgot to lock the door to the furnace room, and Uncle Joe walked in afterhim. Uncle Joe seemed pretty interested in what Dad was

最好小心“马桶怪兽”小家伙！6个月后曼尼才再踏进浴室一步。 从那以后，每次爸爸换脏尿布，我都听到他低声咒骂乔叔叔。 我们两点左右吃了晚饭，然后人们去客厅聊天。 我不想说话，所以我去了家庭娱乐室玩电子游戏。 最后，我想爸爸也受够了这个家庭，所以他下楼去了内战时期的战场上工作。 但他忘了锁炉房的门，乔叔叔跟在他后面走了进来。 乔叔叔似乎对爸爸的身份很感兴趣