12

she could NAME her character "Mom," and he said "yes." I have to give Mom credit for figuring out that loophole, but it totally ruined the rest of the game for me. Even though Mom wasn't technically my mother in the game, she sure ACTED like she was. At this one point, our characters were hanging out in a tavern waiting for a spy to arrive, and my dwarf, Grimlon, ordered a pint of mead. Mead is sort of like beer in Magick and Monsters, and I guess Mom didn't approve of THAT.

The worst part of the game was when we got into a battle situation. See, the whole point of Magick and Monsters is that you're supposed to kill as many monsters as possible so you can get points and move up in levels. But I don't really think Mom got that concept.

YOU RUN INTO A PACK OF ORCS... AND THEY LOOK HUNGRY! WE GIVE THEM ALL OF OUR FOOD! After about an hour of things going like this, I decided to quit. So I gathered up my stuff, and me and Mom headed home. On the way back, Mom was really talking up Magick and Monsters, saying how it could help me with my "math skills" and stuff like that. All I can say is, I

hope she isn't planning on becoming a regular at these games. Because the first chance I get, "Mom" is getting handed over to a pack of Orcs. Thursday After school today, Mom took me to the bookstore and bought just about every Magick and Monsters book on the shelf. She must've dropped about $200, and she didn't even make me cash in a single Mom Buck. I realized maybe I judged Mom a little too quick, and maybe it wasn't such a bad thing having her in our group after all. I was all set to take my new books up to Leland's, but that's when I found out there was a catch. Mom actually bought all those books so me and RODRICK

could play Magick and Monsters together. She said it was a good way for the two of us to work out our differences. Mom told Rodrick she wanted him to be the Dungeon Keeper, just like Leland. Then she dumped the pile of books on Rodrick's bed and told him to start studying up. It was bad enough playing in front of Mom at Leland's house, but I knew playing with Rodrick would be about ten times worse. Mom was serious about me and Rodrick playing together, so I knew I was gonna have to go through with it. I spent about an hour up in my room making up characters with names Rodrick couldn't make fun of, like "Joe" and "Bob."

Once I was finished, I met Rodrick in the kitchen, and we started our game. YOU AND YOUR GROUP OF NERDS FALL INTO A PIT AND IT'S FULL OF DYNAMITE AND YOU BLOW UP. THE END. I guess I should be grateful that it was over with quickly. And I just hope Mom saved her receipts on those books. Friday The teachers have really been cracking down on kids copying off of each other this year. Remember how I said I was glad I got put next to Alex Aruda in Pre- Algebra? Well, THAT hasn't done me any good.