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I told her all about Quinn and what he said. But Mom told me Quinn was just being silly, and I didn't need to listen to him. After Mom explained the joke, I actually thought it was pretty funny. I couldn't wait to go back to school the next day and try it out myself. YOU'RE GONNA GROW UP AND GET MARRIED TO SOME ICE CREAM! HA! But it didn't really have the same effect. NOVEMBER MONDAY

It's been over a week since Rodrick's party, and I stopped worrying that Mom and Dad were gonna bust us for it. But remember that bathroom door we switched out? Well, I forgot all about it until tonight. Rodrick was upstairs in my room bugging me, and Dad went into the bathroom. A couple seconds later, he said something that made Rodrick stop cold. HEY... DIDN'T THIS DOOR USED TO LOCK? I thought it was over. If Dad knew about the DOOR, it was just a matter of time before he found out about the party. But Dad didn't put two and two together.

I MUST BE LOSING MY MARBLES. You know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Mom and Dad found out about the party. Rodrick would get grounded, which would be AWESOME. So if I can figure out a way to spill the beans without Rodrick finding out, I'm gonna go for it. Tuesday I got my first letter from my French pen pal, Mamadou, today. I decided to adjust my attitude and give this whole pen-pal thing my best effort. So when I wrote back to Mamadou today, I tried to be as helpful as possible.

Dear Gregory, I am very privileged to make your acquaintance. Mamadou Dear Mamadou, I'm pretty sure "aquaintance" doesn't have a "c" in it. I really think you need to work on your English. Sincerely, Greg I think it's dumb that Madame Lefrere won't let us use e-mail with our pen pals. Albert Murphy has already written back and forth with his pen pal a bunch of times, and it's costing them a lot of money in stamps. Dear Jacques- How old are you? Dear Albert, 12. Dear Jacques- Oh. nkledc. COST: $14

Friday Tonight, Rowley's parents went out to dinner, so they got him a babysitter. I don't know why Rowley can't just watch himself for a few hours, but believe me I'm not complaining. Rowley's babysitter is Heather Hills, and she's the prettiest girl at Crossland High School. So whenever the Jeffersons go out, I always make sure to be up at Rowley's for "story time." I went up to Rowley's at about 8:00 tonight. I even splashed on some of Rodrick's cologne to make sure I made a good impression on Heather.

I knocked on the door and waited for Heather to answer. But I was caught a little off guard when Rowley's next-door neighbor Leland answered instead. I can't believe Rowley's parents switched babysitters from Heather to LELAND. They should've at least checked with me before doing something stupid like THAT. Once I realized Heather wasn't there, I turned around to go back home. But Rowley asked me if I wanted to hang out and play Magick and Monsters with him and Leland. The only reason I said "yes" was because I thought it