5

I've decided it's not even worth asking Mr. Rask if you can use the bathroom during his class, because the whole experience is just way too embarrassing. Speaking of the bathroom, there's a new rule about how long you're allowed to actually be in there. Apparently, teachers were complaining that kids were hanging out in the bathrooms too long, so the new deal is that you're supposed to be in and out of there within a minute. They even had a whole assembly on how to get everything done in sixty seconds.

我觉得压根没必要问拉斯克老师能不能上课去厕所，因为整个过程实在太尴尬了。 说到厕所呀，学校对大家能待在厕所的时间出了个新规定。 显然老师们都在抱怨孩子们在厕所里摸鱼太久，所以新规定要求大家一分钟之内必须进出厕所。 他们甚至专门开了个全校大会，教大家怎么在六十秒内搞定一切。

1. DO YOUR BUSINESS. 2. WASH YOUR HANDS. 3. LEAVE. It's one thing to make a rule, but it's another thing to enforce it. The school appointed a handful of kids to be bathroom monitors, and gave them whistles and stopwatches and everything. But all the bathroom monitors ended up quitting, because it turns out people don't like being rushed when they're trying to use the facilities. SWEET.

1. 先办事情。 2. 洗净双手。 3. 赶紧离开。 定规矩是一回事，落实执行又是另一回事。 学校指派了几个孩子当厕所监督员，还给他们配了哨子、秒表这些装备。 但最后所有监督员都辞职了，毕竟没人喜欢上厕所的时候被催着赶。 太棒了。

Once the monitors were gone, kids hung out in the bathrooms longer than ever. Chris Kodiak, whose dad is a barber, even started up his own little business in the A-wing boys" room. The school ended up removing the mirrors from ALL the bathrooms to get us to hurry things along. And now I have to rely on my best friend Rowley to tell me if I've got something in my nose. BOOGER CHECK!

监督员走了之后，孩子们待在厕所的时间比以前更长了。 爸爸是理发师的克里斯·科迪亚克，居然在A翼男厕所开起了自己的小生意。 学校最后干脆把所有厕所的镜子都拆了，逼我们快点出来。 现在我只能靠最好的朋友罗利帮我看，鼻子里是不是沾东西了。 检查鼻屎！

I don't know what it's like in the girls" bathroom, but in the guys" bathroom it's just a total zoo. And I guess the reason is because it's the only place in the school that's unsupervised by adults. Every once in a while, though, one of the male teachers will pop their head in and tell everyone to quit horsing around. HEY! KNOCK IT OFF IN HERE!

我不知道女厕所是什么情况，但男厕所简直乱成了动物园。 我猜原因是，这里是学校里唯一一个没有大人看管的地方。 不过每隔一阵子，就会有男老师探个头进来，叫大家别瞎闹。 喂！ 别在这儿胡闹了！

But in the B wing, all the teachers are women, so the boys know they can totally go nuts in the bathroom without anybody coming in to tell them to cut it out. And it gets so crazy that I won't even go in there unless it's urgent. I heard that recently things got so out of hand in the B-wing bathroom that Mrs. Lackey had to go inside to put a stop to it. But she had to wear a blindfold so she didn't violate anyone's privacy, which meant nobody actually got in any trouble. After that, things were worse than ever.

但B翼的老师全是女老师，所以男孩子们知道，他们可以在厕所里彻底疯玩，没人会进来制止。 那里乱得太离谱了，除非实在憋不住，我根本不会进去。 我听说最近B翼厕所闹得太出格，拉基老师不得不进去制止。 但她得戴着眼罩，免得侵犯大家隐私，结果最后没人受到处罚。 从那之后，情况比以前更糟了。

On Wednesday, Justin Murdock got called down to the principal's office for writing on the bathroom wall with a marker. And on Thursday, Jorge Cantos got in trouble for hanging from one of the stalls and bending the frame. Justin and Jorge both got detention, and all the guys became paranoid because they thought someone had to be a snitch.

周三那天，贾斯汀·默多克因为用马克笔在厕所墙上乱写，被叫去了校长办公室。 周四，豪尔赫·坎托斯因为吊在隔间门上把框架压弯，也挨了罚。 贾斯汀和豪尔赫都被留了堂，所有男生都变得疑神疑鬼，觉得肯定有人打了小报告。