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Tyler Geary says that if we ever get to operate on real tapeworms, he's gonna try to bring one back to life by hooking it up to electrodes. And this is exactly the type of thing I'm worried about. If you ask me, you shouldn't go screwing around trying to bring the dead back to life. On top of it just being wrong, it could also be pretty awkward. I feel bad I never sent my Great Aunt Reba a thank-you card for the birthday money she gave me a few years ago. So I don't know what I'd say to her if she was back in the picture all of a sudden. SORRY, I COULDN'T FIND STAMPS! HISSSS!

泰勒·吉里说，要是哪天我们能给真绦虫做手术，他打算用电极接上它，试着把它救活。 而这正是我最担心的事。 要我说，我们根本不该瞎折腾，试着把死者救活。 这事不光本身不对，还会弄得特别尴尬。 我一直很愧疚，几年前里芭姨太给了我生日红包，我到现在都没给她寄感谢卡。 所以要是她突然出现在我面前，我真不知道该说什么。 对不起！我实在买不到邮票！嘶——！

When I'm gone, I hope my family doesn't try and bring ME back to life. Because if coming back means having to babysit my great-great-great grandkids, I'd rather everyone just let me rest in peace. But I probably shouldn't worry about someone in my class making a big scientific breakthrough, because you need the proper equipment for that sort of thing. And my school can't even afford to give everyone the right kind of protective eyewear, so people have been bringing their own gear from home.

等我去世后，我希望我的家人别试着把我救活。 要是活过来还得给我的好多代玄孙看孩子，那我宁愿大家就让我好好安息。 不过我其实不用怕我同学搞出什么科学大突破，做这种事得有合适的设备才行。 而且我们学校连给每个人配齐合适的护目镜都做不到，所以大家只能自己从家里带装备。

The science lab isn't the only place in our school that doesn't have the proper equipment, though. Half the laptops in the computer center have missing letters on their keyboards. And last week I got a bad grade on a History paper when I had to use a computer that was missing all the vowels. The area of the school where we're shortest on materials is the library, because a lot of the shelves are empty. But it wasn't always like that. Back in September we got a new librarian named Ms. Masie, who created a graphic novel section and filled it with books she paid for with her own money.

不过我们学校不是只有实验室缺合适的设备。 电脑中心一半的笔记本键盘都掉了字母。 上周我写历史作业，用了一台缺了所有元音字母的电脑，结果得了个差成绩。 学校缺物资缺得最严重的地方是图书馆，好多书架都是空的。 不过以前不是这样的。 九月的时候我们来了个新图书管理员梅西女士，她开了一个漫画专区，还用自己的钱买书填满了书架。

The most popular books were from this series called Commando Crocodile, and no matter how many copies she bought, Ms. Masie couldn't keep them on the shelves. If you wanted to check out a copy, you had to put your name on a list that was a mile long.

最受欢迎的是一套叫《突击鳄鱼》的书，不管梅西女士进多少本，都根本留不住，很快就被借光。 你要是想借一本，就得把名字写在长到一里地的等候名单上。

But I guess some parent had a problem with the way Commando Crocodile was drawn, so they filled out a complaint form. Library Book Challenge Form Name of Book: Commando Crocodile: Tunnel Vision Author: Matty Shub Reason for challenge: crocodile is not wearing pants Apparently, the rule is that if one parent complains about a book, it has to be removed from the library. But Ms. Masie came up with a compromise to keep the series on the shelves. She used a marker to draw pants on Commando Crocodile, and that seemed to satisfy the parent who made a stink about it.

不过我猜有位家长对《突击鳄鱼》的画风不满意，所以填了投诉表。 图书馆图书投诉表 书名：《突击鳄鱼： Tunnel 迷障》作者：马蒂·舒布 投诉原因：鳄鱼没穿裤子。原来规矩是：只要有一个家长投诉某本书，这本书就必须从图书馆撤掉。 不过梅西女士想出了一个折中的办法，让这套书继续留在书架上。 她用马克笔给突击鳄鱼画上了裤子，这下那个闹事的家长总算是满意了。

But then a new problem cropped up. Some kids had their own uncensored copies of Commando Crocodile at home, and they brought them to school. And when Principal Bottoms found out about it, he confiscated their copies.

可之后又冒出了新问题。 有些孩子家里有没改过的原版《突击鳄鱼》，他们把书带到了学校。 博腾斯校长发现这件事后，没收了这些书。