15

It was all bills and repair estimates and a bunch of boring stuff I didn't even understand. But before I was halfway through opening the envelopes, the school secretary brought me some checks she said I needed to sign. I don't even know if it's actually legal for a kid my age to sign a check, but I figured these people probably needed to get paid, so I scribbled my name down on each one. PAY TO THE ORDER OF Cryan Landscaping $1,248.00 one thousand two hundred forty-eight dollars signed Greg Heffley MEMO mulch In the middle of signing checks, I got interrupted AGAIN. This time the secretary said there was a problem in the boys" bathroom in the B wing that I needed to deal with.

这里全是账单、维修估价单，还有一堆我根本看不懂的无聊玩意儿。 结果我信封拆了一半都不到，校秘书就拿来一堆支票，说需要我签字。 我都不清楚我这个年纪的小孩签支票合不合法，但我想着这些人总得拿到钱，于是就在每张支票上潦草地写了我的名字。 收款人：克莱恩园林绿化公司 金额1248.00美元 壹仟贰佰肆拾捌美元整 签字：格雷格·赫夫利 备注：护根覆盖物 我签支票签了一半，又被打断了。 这次是秘书说B区的男厕所出了问题，需要我去处理。

Some idiot had ripped a sink off the wall, and I'd be willing to bet it was Marty Vinson. So now a pipe was busted and it was flooding the bathroom with water. GUSH I went to find a janitor to handle the problem, but they said plumbing repair wasn't in their contract, so there was nothing they could do about it.

哪个傻子把洗手池从墙上扯下来了，我敢打赌肯定是马蒂·文森干的好事。 这会儿水管裂了，整个洗手间都被水淹没了。 哗啦啦 我去找校工来处理这个问题，可他们说修水管不在他们的合同范围内，所以他们什么都做不了。

By now things were really getting out of hand with the flooding situation, because there was water in the B-wing hallway. A bunch of kids had grabbed lunch trays from the cafeteria and were totally going nuts. WOOO! I knew it would take forever to get the plumbers out to the school, so I went back to the janitors to try and strike a deal. I told them that if they fixed the leak in the bathroom, I'd give them this Friday off. But I guess those guys could tell they had me over a barrel, so they pushed for even more.

这会儿漏水已经彻底失控了，水都漫到B区的走廊里了。 一群小孩从食堂拿了餐盘，玩得都疯过头了。 呜呼！ 我知道等水管工来学校不知道要等到猴年马月，所以我回去找校工们，想跟他们做个交易。 我跟他们说，只要他们修好厕所的漏水点，这周五就给他们放假。 不过我猜这帮人看出我走投无路了，所以得寸进尺提了更多要求。

The janitors came up with a whole list of demands, like better dental care, longer breaks, and the chance to work remotely on Mondays and Wednesdays. Even though I didn't know if I technically had the authority to agree to all that stuff, I figured if I didn't then the whole B wing would be under water before the end of the day. After that situation was under control, I wanted to just go back to my office and take it easy until lunch. But when I got there I was in for a surprise, because there were a bunch of kids waiting outside my door.

校工们列了一长串要求，比如更好的牙科福利、更长的休息时间，还有周一和周三可以远程上班。 虽然我也不知道我到底有没有权力同意这所有条件，但我清楚要是我不答应，放学前整个B区都会淹在水里。 那件事控制住之后，我就想回办公室歇着，一直歇到午饭时间。 可我到那儿之后，却遇上了大惊喜——一大堆小孩在我办公室门外等着呢。

They were a few of the biggest troublemakers in my grade. Their teachers sent them to the principal's office, which meant that now I had to deal with them. The thing is, I knew I couldn't come down too hard on these kids because I was gonna have to face them the next day when I WASN'T principal. So I gave each of them a pep talk and told them to try and make better choices.

他们都是我们年级最能闯祸的几个捣蛋鬼。 他们的老师把他们送到校长办公室，也就是说现在得我来处理他们。 问题在于，我知道我不能对这些孩子太严厉，因为明天我不是校长了，我还得面对他们。 所以我给每个人都做了一番鼓励，叫他们以后尽量做出更好的选择。

I made sure to send each one away with a lollipop to stay on their good side, but that turned out to be a big mistake. Because once word got back to the rest of the students that the principal was handing out candy for being bad, it caused a big stir. All of a sudden kids were acting out in class to get sent to the principal's office. And it wasn't just the regular troublemakers, either. In fact, one of them was Alex Aruda, who's the smartest kid in my grade. And a big fan of lollipops, apparently.

我还特意给每个人发了一根棒棒糖打发他们走，好不得罪他们，结果这反倒成了个大错误。 因为消息传开后，其他学生都知道了，捣乱去校长办公室就能拿糖，一下子就掀起了风浪。 没多久孩子们就故意在课堂上捣乱，就为了被送到校长办公室来。 而且来的还不只是平时那几个捣蛋鬼。 说起来，其中一个还是亚历克斯·阿鲁达，就是我们年级最聪明的孩子。 而且很显然，他特别喜欢棒棒糖。