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A few weeks after that, a zookeeper brought in a bunch of exotic animals, like penguins and an alligator that was ten feet long. In February, we had an assembly where a scientist in a white lab coat and goggles did all sorts of cool experiments onstage. And even though it seemed a little dangerous, it was still pretty cool. But I guess the school doesn't have money for that type of thing anymore, and now our assemblies aren't anything to get excited about.

几周之后，动物园管理员带来了一群珍奇动物，有企鹅，还有一头长十英尺的短吻鳄。 二月份的时候，学校办了一场集会，一位穿白实验服、戴护目镜的科学家在台上做了好多超酷的实验。 虽然看着有点危险，但还是帅呆了。 不过我猜学校现在没钱办这类活动了，如今的集会根本提不起大家的兴致。

Last week, we had an assembly called "Living Presidents," where each president gave a speech about their time in office. But one actor did all the parts, and I'm pretty sure it was the same guy who played Clarence Cluster. And they probably shouldn't have let him have lunch in the cafeteria afterward, because if you ask me, it kind of broke the spell.

上周我们办了一场名叫“在世总统”的集会，每个总统都要演讲自己任职时期的经历。 但其实是同一个演员演了所有角色，我敢肯定他就是演克拉伦斯·克拉斯特的那个人。 而且他们真不该让他会后去食堂吃午饭，要我说，这一下子就打破了原本的神秘感。

On Tuesday, we had an assembly that caused a big stir for all the wrong reasons. Randy from Randy's Reptile Revue accidentally let one of his snakes get loose, which caused a total panic in the gym. The good news is that the snake was spotted in the hallway the next day. But I don't think anyone's gonna tell Randy, because that thing is single-handedly taking care of our rodent problem. SLITHER

周二的那场集会，因为完全乌龙的原因闹得全校沸沸扬扬。 兰迪爬虫秀的兰迪不小心让一条蛇逃了出去，体育馆里彻底一片恐慌。 好消息是，第二天有人在走廊里发现了那条蛇。 不过我觉得没人会去告诉兰迪，这条蛇凭一己之力解决了咱们学校的鼠患问题呢。 咝溜滑

Thursday This money situation at school is getting pretty serious, and now teachers are starting to leave. Apparently, the whole teaching staff was supposed to get a raise this spring. But when Principal Bottoms told them it wasn't gonna happen, a few of them actually quit on the spot. That meant that all of a sudden I didn't have a History teacher. So the school put Leonard Burry in charge of teaching, since he's been held back twice and this is his third time taking the class.

周四 学校缺钱的情况越来越严重，现在连老师都开始陆续离职了。 据说全体教职员工本来今年春天就能涨工资。 可博顿斯校长说涨工资没戏之后，好几个老师当场就辞职了。 这下子，我突然就没了历史老师。 所以学校让伦纳德·巴里来教这门课，毕竟他留级两次，这已经是他第三次上这门课了。

Mr. Frum quit, too, which means now Mrs. Lackey is the only Social Studies teacher in our grade. So they actually removed the wall between two classrooms and now Mrs. Lackey can teach twice as many kids at once. But even after some teachers left on their own, the school made more cuts to the staff. They switched Ms. Masie from full-time to three days a week, and they let one of the school nurses go, so now we're down to just one.

弗拉姆老师也辞职了，这下我们年级就只剩拉基老师一名社会研究老师了。 所以学校拆掉了两间教室之间的隔墙，这样拉基老师一次就能教双倍的学生。 可就算已经有老师主动离职，学校还是裁掉了更多员工。 他们把梅西老师从全职改成每周上班三天，还辞掉了一名校医，现在学校只剩一名校医了。

The new rule is that you're only allowed to go to the nurse's office if it's for something urgent, like a medical emergency. And each classroom has a sign next to the door to see if your situation qualifies. STOP! Do you really need to see the school nurse? Please stay in class if you have a: runny nose blister hangnail pimple paper cut hiccups. Personally, I think the new policy is reasonable, because I'm pretty sure that some kids were going to the nurse's office just to get out of class.

学校定了新规矩：只有紧急情况比如突发急病，才能去护士办公室。 每个教室门口都贴了标识，告诉你你的情况符不符合要求。 停！ 你真的需要去看校医吗？ 如果你有以下情况，请留在教室里：流鼻涕、水泡、倒刺、痘痘、纸割伤、打嗝。 我个人觉得这个新规定挺合理，因为我敢肯定有些孩子就是为了逃课才跑去护士办公室的。