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DIARY of a Wimpy Kid NO BRAINER Jeff Kinney

《小屁孩日记：不动脑》 杰夫·金尼

APRIL Monday The human brain is supposed to be this amazing supercomputer that's capable of all sorts of incredible stuff. But if that's true, then I don't know why my brain is always making me do stupid things. YOOCH! It's actually a little annoying, because if you think about it, your brain's one job is to be smart.

四月 星期一 人类的大脑本该是一台超厉害的超级计算机，能完成各种不可思议的事情。 可要是真的如此，我就不懂为啥我的大脑总让我干傻事。 哇呀！ 这真的有点烦人，你想想，大脑唯一的任务就是变聪明啊。

I guess it's my own fault for filling my brain with things that aren't important, like video game cheat codes and theme songs to old TV shows. Because now there's no room left for stuff that actually matters. The problem with a brain is that there's only a limited amount of room in there, so eventually you run out of storage. And the reason it's hard for old people to learn new things is because their brains are just full. IT'S CALLED "SOCIAL MEDIA"! AND IF YOU WANT TO "LIKE" SOMETHING YOU JUST PRESS THIS LITTLE HEART! FAH!

我觉得这都怪我自己，把没用的东西塞满了脑子，比如游戏作弊码还有老电视剧的主题曲。 这下真正重要的东西反而没地方放了。 大脑的问题就是容量有限，到最后总会把存储空间用完。 老年人学新东西难，就是因为他们的脑子已经装满了。 这东西叫做“社交媒体”！ 要是你想给内容“点赞”，按一下这个小心心就可以了！ 哼！

One of these days they're gonna figure out a way to add more memory. And when they do, I'm gonna buy myself the biggest booster pack I can afford. In the meantime, I'm trying to be real choosy about what I put in my brain. So when someone's telling me something I don't need to know, I just try and block it out. SO THEN MRS. O'MALLEY SAYS SHE WASN'T THE ONE WHO CALLED ME A LIAR. SO I ASKED HER WHY SHE WAS TALKING TO MRS. FERGUSON BEHIND MY BACK! LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

总有一天人们会想出办法给大脑增加更多容量。 等那一天到来，我一定要买一个我能负担得起的最大容量扩容包。 现在呢，我只能精挑细选，只把有用的东西放进脑子里。 所以要是有人跟我说我不需要知道的事，我就直接把它挡在外面。 所以奥马利太太说，说我撒谎的人不是她。 那我就问她，为啥她要背着我跟弗格森太太聊天！ 啦啦啦啦我听不到！

When you're a kid, the thing that you use your brain for the most is school. And a lot of your brain power goes to memorizing useless stuff, like the names of vice presidents and the words to preschool songs. IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT AND YOU REALLY WANT TO SHOW IT One thing that's really inconvenient is that your brain is inside your head, so you have to take it everywhere you go. But if they ever figure out a way to deal with that issue, then school is gonna be a whole different thing.

当你还是个孩子的时候，大脑用得最多的地方就是上学。 好多脑力都浪费在记没用的东西上，比如副总统的名字还有幼儿园儿歌的歌词。 要是你快乐你知道 它 想要尽情表现它 有件事真的很不方便：大脑长在脑袋里，所以你走到哪儿都得带着它。 可要是哪天人们能解决这个问题，上学就会完全不一样了。

I think it would be great if your brain could be at school learning while you're off doing things you actually enjoy, like playing laser tag with your friends or hanging out at the arcade. Then you could pick up your brain at the end of the day and get all caught up. SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN AT SCHOOL TODAY? NOTHIN'! For now I guess we're stuck with the current situation where your body and your brain need to be in the same place. And if you're a kid, that means you've gotta spend a big chunk of your time at school. My problem with that is how long the school day is.

我觉得要是能让大脑留在学校学习，你自己去做真正喜欢的事就太棒了，比如跟朋友玩激光枪战，或是泡在游戏厅。 这样你一天结束再把大脑领回来，就能跟上所有进度了。 那你今天在学校学了什么呀？ 啥也没学！ 现在我们只能接受现状：身体和大脑必须待在同一个地方。 对孩子来说，这就意味着你得把一大块时间花在学校里。 我最受不了的就是上学的一天太长了。