8

OCTOBER Tuesday I was really hoping Mom would just forget about making me join a team, but she's been pressuring me every single day. I tried to tell her that in twenty years regular sports will be replaced by e-sports, and athletes won't even have to leave their couches to compete. But I guess she's too old to get excited about what things are gonna be like in the future.

十月 星期二 我真希望妈妈忘了逼我加入运动队这事，可她天天都在给我施压。 我跟她说，再过二十年传统运动会被电子竞技取代，运动员窝在沙发上就能比赛了。 可我觉得她年纪太大，对未来的新事物提不起兴趣。

One of the reasons I haven't decided on what sport to play is because I'm not really that GOOD at anything. I've been racking my brain trying to remember a time when I did something athletic to help figure out which sport is right for me. And all I can think of was the time at lunch when I landed a balled-up napkin in Justin White's empty milk glass. TOSS PLUNK When I made that shot, the whole cafeteria went NUTS. And I'm pretty sure it's the biggest athletic achievement of my life.

我一直选不对运动的原因之一，就是我好像真的啥运动都不擅长。 我绞尽脑汁回忆我做过的跟运动沾边的事，好找出适合我的项目。 我能想到的只有上次午饭时，我把揉成团的餐巾纸投进了贾斯汀·怀特的空牛奶杯里。 嗖 咚 我投中那一球的时候，整个餐厅都炸锅了。 我敢说那绝对是我这辈子最了不起的运动成就。

Some people were even saying they should put a plaque in the spot where I threw the napkin so future students would know about it. FROM THIS SPOT Greg Heffley TOSSED A NAPKIN INTO A GLASS ON A MOVING TRAY FROM A DISTANCE OF 25 FEET For the rest of the year, kids tried to re-create my shot. and that turned lunch breaks into a NIGHTMARE.

甚至还有人说，该在我扔餐巾纸的地方立块牌子，让以后的学生都知道这事。 就在此地 格雷·赫夫利 投出 从二十五英尺外 将餐巾纸投进移动托盘上的玻璃杯 接下来一整年里，孩子们都在试着复刻我的那一投。 结果把午休变成了一场噩梦。

I thought my napkin shot proved I had some TALENT, and I told Mom maybe I could try out for the basketball team. Well, that got her all excited, because she said she played basketball when she was my age, and her team was really GOOD. Then she said maybe basketball skills run in our family. Mom said her team made it all the way to the state finals one year. But when I asked her what happened in the championship game she said it wasn't important.

我觉得投中餐巾纸证明我有点天赋，就跟妈妈说我或许可以去篮球队试训。 这下可把她开心坏了，她说她像我这么大的时候也打篮球，她当年的球队可厉害了。 她还说篮球天赋说不定传自我们家。 妈妈说她的球队那一年一路打进了州决赛。 可我问她决赛发生了什么的时候，她说这不重要。

Mom said what mattered was that I'd be part of a TEAM. Then she went to her computer to figure out how to sign me up to play. I was glad Mom was excited that I decided on a sport, but there was actually ANOTHER reason I picked basketball. I heard some kids talking about tryouts at school today, and there are only two teams for my whole grade, with ten players on each one. And if you don't make a team you get CUT. I'm sure there will be a lot of kids trying out next week, so I don't stand a CHANCE of making it. And once it's over I can finally get Mom off my back with this sports stuff.

妈妈说，重要的是我能成为团队的一份子。 然后她就去电脑上查怎么给我报名了。 我很高兴妈妈对我选了运动这么开心，但我选篮球其实还有另一个原因。 我今天在学校听孩子说，整个年级只有两支球队，每队十个人。 没选上的人就会被淘汰。 下周肯定有好多孩子试训，我根本没机会选上。 等试训结束，妈妈就不会再拿运动这事念叨我了。

Sunday When I got to the gym for basketball tryouts tonight, I counted twenty-eight kids. That meant twenty kids would make one of the two teams, and everyone else would get cut. So I liked my odds. Plus, most of the kids looked WAY better than me. A lot of these guys have been playing since kindergarten, and they could dribble between their legs and do other crazy stuff with the ball. The only real experience I've had with basketball was when we did a basketball unit in Phys Ed last year. And that only lasted two days.

周日 今晚我到体育馆参加篮球试训时，数了数一共有二十八个孩子。 也就是说二十个孩子能进其中一支队，剩下的都会被淘汰。 所以我对这个几率挺满意的。 再说了，大部分孩子看起来都比我厉害多了。 这帮孩子好多从幼儿园就开始打球，能胯下运球，还会玩各种花活儿。 我唯一真正接触篮球的经历，就是去年体育课我们上过一个篮球单元。 那个单元才只上了两天。