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And now the lunch ladies are getting in on the act, so the cafeteria has basically turned into a gymnasium. The homeroom teachers are getting pretty spooked, so they've started TRADING kids to improve their team's chances. Mr Esper sent the fastest girl in our school, Ava Hollis, to Mrs Joy's class, and he got Thomas Scheff, who's apparently a specialist in the sponge toss. All this trading has got Mrs Bosh thinking about making some moves of her OWN.

如今食堂阿姨们也加入了这场活动，食堂基本上都变成体育馆了。 班主任们都慌了神，开始交换学生来提升自己队伍的获胜概率。 埃斯珀先生把全校跑得最快的女孩艾娃·霍利斯送到了乔伊夫人的班，换来了托马斯·谢夫，据说他是扔海绵项目的专家。 这场交换风潮让博什夫人也动起了自己的脑筋。

She even gave me the job of scouting kids from some of the other homerooms to see who we should recruit for OUR team. That's why it stung when Mrs Bosh traded me and two other kids for Jesse Range, and threw in a pack of dry-erase markers to close the deal.

她甚至交给我任务，去其他班打探学生，看看我们队该招哪些人进来。 所以当博什夫人用我和另外两个孩子交换杰西·兰奇，还搭上一盒干擦笔促成交易时，我心里难受极了。

Thursday Yesterday was Sports Day at school, and it started off with some controversy. Before the first bell, Mr Ray gave Jesse Range detention just so he could steal Jesse for his team. So that meant Mr Ray's team was totally STACKED, and the rest of us didn't stand a chance. Before Sports Day kicked off, Mrs Epstein gathered our team on the playground to go over strategy and make some last-minute adjustments. But I still couldn't figure out why she wanted me and those other two kids instead of Jesse Range.

昨天周四是学校的运动日，活动一开始就闹出了争议。 第一声铃响前，雷老师就给杰西·兰奇记了留堂，就为了把他抢到自己队里。 这下雷老师的队伍阵容超强，我们其他人根本没有胜算。 运动日开始前，爱泼斯坦夫人把我们队集合到操场上，讲解战术，做最后的调整。 可我一直想不通，为什么她宁愿要我和另外两个孩子，也不要杰西·兰奇。

I was only signed up for one event, which was the three-legged race. My partner was Madison Burke, who's about a foot taller than me, which made things kind of awkward. But when the race started I finally understood Mrs Epstein's strategy. She didn't trade for me because I'm FAST. She traded for me because I'm LIGHT.

我只报名了一个项目，那就是两人三足赛跑。 我的搭档是麦迪逊·伯克，她比我高了整整一英尺，我们配合起来有点别扭。 可比赛开始后，我终于明白了爱泼斯坦夫人的策略。 她交换我过来不是因为我跑得快。 她交换我过来是因为我体重轻。

Me and Madison took first place, and our team was off to a good start. But we had a big setback a few minutes later when Marcello Romera twisted an ankle in the sack race. It turns out the lunch ladies had left some POTATOES in a few of the sacks, and I'll bet that wasn't an ACCIDENT. Marcello was supposed to run the fifty-metre sprint next, and all the other kids on our team were in the middle of events. So Mrs Epstein told me I was gonna have to fill in for him. I got second-to-last place because I was still kind of bashed up from the three-legged race. But I can't really run fast unless I'm MOTIVATED.

我和麦迪逊拿了第一名，我们队开了个好头。 可几分钟后我们遭遇了大挫折，马塞洛·罗梅拉在套麻袋赛跑时扭到了脚踝。 原来食堂阿姨偷偷在好几个麻袋里放了土豆，我打赌这绝对不是意外。 接下来五十米短跑本来该马塞洛上场，可我们队其他孩子都正在比别的项目。 所以爱泼斯坦夫人让我顶替他上场。 我拿了倒数第二，因为刚比完两人三足，我还浑身酸累。 但除非有足够的动力，不然我真的跑不快。

The fastest I've ever run was when I got chased by Rodrick after he stepped in dog poop and I laughed at him. I guarantee you if someone had been timing me that day I would've clocked in at CHEETAH speed. The only reason I didn't get last place in the fifty-metre sprint was because as soon as the race started Jesse Range fell flat on his face. And when that happened I figured he must've tripped over his shoelaces or something.

我这辈子跑得最快的一次，是罗德里克踩了狗屎我嘲笑他之后，被他追着跑的时候。 我敢保证，如果那天有人给我计时，我肯定能跑出猎豹的速度。 五十米短跑我没拿倒数第一，全是因为比赛一开始杰西·兰奇就摔了个脸着地。 当时我还以为他是被鞋带绊倒了之类的。