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Then he said you know you're about to be sprayed if a skunk stands on its front legs and wiggles its butt. But by then it's probably too LATE. Rodrick said that a skunk's spray doesn't just smell bad, it's FLAMMABLE, too. I don't know if that's true or if it's just another one of his lies. If it IS true, then once skunks figure out how to light matches, us human beings are in BIG trouble.

然后他说呀，如果臭鼬撑起前腿扭屁股，就说明它要喷你了 可到那时候呀，多半已经来不及啦 罗德里克说臭鼬的喷雾不光臭，还能点燃哦 我不知道这是真的，还是他又在编瞎话骗我 如果这是真的，那等臭鼬学会划火柴，我们人类可就大祸临头啦

When God created the animals, he gave them all cool stuff to defend themselves with, like shells and talons and claws. But then when the time came to create PEOPLE, all the GOOD ideas were used up.

上帝创造动物的时候，给每种动物都配了厉害的防身装备，比如硬壳、尖爪和钩爪 可等轮到创造人类的时候，所有好用的点子都用光了

I guess God made up for it by giving us big BRAINS. But, if it was up to me, I probably would've gone with QUILLS. I figure if something as small as a skunk could scare off predators by smelling bad, then maybe it could work for ME. And that's when I decided I'm not gonna shower until I finish high school.

我猜上帝为了弥补这点，给了我们大大的脑袋 但要是让我选，我肯定宁可要一身尖刺 我想啊，连臭鼬这么小的家伙都能靠臭味吓跑天敌，那这招我用肯定也行 就在那时候，我下定决心：高中毕业之前我都不洗澡啦

I probably shouldn't have told MOM my plan, though, because all it did was remind her that I skipped taking a shower today. So now she's making me take one first thing tomorrow morning. Luckily, we had a few extra hot dogs in the camper van, and Dad cooked them over the fire. But I kept thinking about that skunk. So I was already a little jumpy when all of a sudden we got SPRAYED.

不过我真不该把我的计划告诉妈妈，这下反倒提醒她我今天没洗澡了 所以她要求我明天一早起来第一件事就是去洗澡 幸好露营车里还有几根多余的热狗，爸爸把它们架在火上烤熟了 可我脑子里一直想着那只臭鼬 我本来就已经有点提心吊胆，结果突然我们被喷了

But it wasn't a SKUNK that sprayed us. It was one of our NEIGHBOURS. Apparently, 9:00 is "lights out" at camp, and I guess people around here take that pretty seriously. So we turned in for the night, but I didn't really SLEEP. Because, like I said before, those economy pitches were packed together TIGHT.

但喷我们的不是臭鼬 是我们营地的邻居喷的 原来营地九点就要求熄灯，这儿的人对这个规矩可认真了 所以我们就上床过夜了，可我根本没怎么睡着 就像我之前说的，那些廉价营位挨得特别紧

Sunday It turned out the whole camp was early to bed, early to rise. We didn't even need to set our alarm clocks because our neighbours let us know when it was time to get up. Believe it or not, some guy was doing WOOD CARVINGS on his pitch. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but when I saw the chainsaw I figured maybe I could let it slide this one time.

周日 原来整个营地都早睡早起 我们根本不用设闹钟，邻居早就提醒我们该起床了 信不信由你，有个人居然在他的营位上做木雕 我本来想去跟他理论，可一看见他拿的链锯，我就想这次就算了吧