8

Eventually I guess I DID stop believing in the Grout. Well, at least until TODAY when Dad unclogged the drain and pulled out a glob of HAIR. And, for ME, that's all the proof I NEEDED. I spent the rest of the day locked in my room. And that was where I planned on STAYING, at least until Dad took my door off the hinges with a screwdriver. I didn't even know you could DO that. So Dad should be happy, because he actually taught me something NEW today.

说起来啊，最后我确实不再相信填缝怪了。 好吧，至少到今天之前我都不信，直到爸爸疏通排水管，掏出了一大团头发。 对我来说，这就是我需要的全部证据了。 剩下的一整天我都把自己锁在房间里。 我本来打算就一直待在那儿的，结果爸爸拿螺丝刀把我的门从合页上拆下来了。 我之前根本不知道还能这么拆门。 所以爸爸该开心了，他今天确实教了我一样新东西。

Sunday This morning Dad woke me and Rodrick up early and told us we had to go with him to the DIY store He said he had a day of chores lined up for us, and we needed to get some supplies. It's been a while since we went to the DIY store, and the last time we were there we got kicked out. That's because Manny used the toilet on the display floor. Dad went to find stuff to fix the washing machine, and he sent me and Rodrick to get some other things, like wood stain and paintbrushes.

周日 今天一大早爸爸就叫醒我和罗德里克，说我们得跟他去DIY建材店。 他说排了一整天的家务活，我们需要先买些材料。 我们很久没去这家建材店了，上一次去还被人家赶出来了。 那是因为曼尼用了展示区的马桶。 爸爸去找修洗衣机的零件，让我和罗德里克去买别的东西，比如木材染色剂和油漆刷。

I'll tell you this: if there's ever a zombie invasion or something like that, I'm heading STRAIGHT for the DIY store. Because there's stuff in there that can do some SERIOUS damage. When we got back home, Dad told me and Rodrick we were gonna stain the deck. He said we'd have to paint around the hot tub since it was too heavy to move. Honestly, I wish we never GOT the hot tub, because that thing has been nothing but TROUBLE.

我跟你说：要是哪天爆发僵尸入侵之类的事，我肯定直奔建材店。 因为那里面的东西真的能造成不小的损伤呢。 我们回到家后，爸爸说我和罗德里克要给露台刷染色剂。 他说按摩浴缸太重挪不动，我们得绕着它刷。 说实话，我真希望我们从来没买过这个按摩浴缸，这玩意儿净惹麻烦。

This winter the hot tub almost KILLED me, not ONCE but TWICE. One night we had a big storm, and the strap holding down the hot-tub cover came undone. So Dad told me I had to get out there and FIX it. After I got on all my winter gear, I went outside to deal with this thing. The cover was flapping around like CRAZY, and it wasn't easy trying to wrestle it back down. And, just when I thought I HAD it, a big gust of wind came and blew the cover clear off the deck.

今年冬天这个按摩浴缸差点害死我，还不止一次，是两次。 有天晚上下了大暴雨，固定浴缸盖的带子松脱了。 所以爸爸叫我出门去把它修好。 我穿好所有冬装后，就出门去处理这件事。 浴缸盖疯了似的晃个不停，要把它摁回去固定好可不容易。 就在我以为我搞定了的时候，一阵大风刮过来，直接把浴缸盖吹出了露台。

But I was still holding on to the cover, so I went flying WITH it. If there hadn't been three feet of SNOW on the ground, that would've been IT for me. After I checked to make sure I didn't have any broken bones, I dragged the cover through the snow and up the stairs. And by the time I got to the TOP I was completely EXHAUSTED.

但我还抓着浴缸盖呢，所以我跟着它一起飞了出去。 幸好当时地上积了三英尺厚的雪，不然我这次肯定完蛋了。 我确认自己没骨折之后，就拖着浴缸盖穿过积雪，往楼梯走。 等我爬到楼梯顶的时候，我已经累得不行了。

But that's not the end of the story. The hose Dad used to FILL the hot tub was running down the stairs, and it was frozen SOLID. So when I STEPPED on the hose, I slid all the way back down to the BOTTOM and almost broke my neck on the landing. Rodrick's had problems with the hot tub, too. He used it all winter, but had a bad habit of falling ASLEEP in it. So Mom would always have to make sure he wasn't still outside when she went to bed for the night.

但故事到这儿还没完呢。 爸爸给浴缸加水的水管就搭在楼梯上，冻得硬邦邦的。 我一脚踩上去，直接顺着楼梯滑回了底，差点在平台摔断脖子。 罗德里克也栽过这个按摩浴缸的坑。 他一整个冬天都在用，还总爱在浴缸里睡着。 所以妈妈睡觉前总得去看看，确认他没一直待在外面。