3

And if THAT happens they're gonna want to have all the authentic stuff I owned growing up. The reason I'm not ALREADY famous is because when you're a kid they keep you busy with school and homework, so there's not a lot of time left to make a NAME for yourself. But one of the ways a kid can actually get famous is by becoming a HERO. My parents watch the news every night, and there's always a story about a kid saving someone from choking or something like that.

真要是我出名了，大家肯定都想要我从小到大用过的那些原汁原味的东西。 我到现在还没出名，是因为当小孩就得忙着上学做作业，根本没剩多少时间让自己成名。 不过小孩能出名的路子之一，就是当英雄。 我爸妈每晚都看新闻，里面总说有小孩救了被东西卡住喉咙的人之类的事。

The problem is, those kinds of opportunities don't come around that OFTEN. And, believe me, I've tried to put myself in the right place for that sort of thing to happen.

问题是，这种好事可不常有。 而且相信我，我已经试过主动创造机会碰这种事了。

But I've got kind of tired of WAITING, so I decided to try and create a situation where I was GUARANTEEdecided to be a hero. I figured if I saved someone from a dog attack they'd make a statue of me and put it in the town park, which would be pretty cool. Rowley didn't seem so sure about my idea when I explained it to him. But when I said he'd be a part of the statue, too, he changed his tune. So I got some bacon out of our refrigerator and had Rowley stuff it in his pockets. Then we went around the neighbourhood looking for some DOGS.

可我等得都累了，所以我决定自己造一个百分百能让我当英雄的场景。 我想啊，如果我从恶狗嘴里救了人，他们肯定会给我立个雕像放在城里的公园，那可太酷了。 我跟罗利说我的计划的时候，他好像不太看好。 可我跟他说雕像上也会有他一份的时候，他立马改主意了。 然后我从冰箱拿了些培根，让罗利塞到他口袋里。 接着我们就在小区附近到处找狗。

We DID attract some dogs, but they weren't the kind I was LOOKING for. Rowley got so nervous about the dogs following us that he ATE the uncooked bacon, which I've heard can be really BAD for you. So I told his parents what happened, and they took him to a doctor just to be sure.

我们确实引来了一些狗，但都不是我想要的那种凶狗。 罗利被跟着我们的狗吓慌了，居然把生培根吃了，我听说生培根吃了对身体很不好。 所以我就把这事告诉了他爸妈，为了保险起见，他们带他去看医生了。

I guess I saved Rowley's life after all, which does sort of make me a hero, if you think about it. But I don't know if that's really the kind of thing they make into a statue. Maybe I'm thinking too SMALL with this statue idea, anyway. If I do something REALLY big, they'll make my birthday into a national holiday. That would be pretty awesome, because then everyone will get the day off school and work, and they'll have ME to thank for it.

这么说我到底还是救了罗利的命，这么算的话，我也算是个英雄了吧。 但我不知道这种事值不值得给我立雕像。 话说回来，也许立雕像这个想法格局太小了。 要是我做成一件惊天动地的大事，他们肯定会把我的生日定为全国假日。 那可太棒了，到时候所有人都不用上学不用上班，他们都得感谢我呢。

The thing is, whenever there's a day off school for a national holiday, I never even THINK about the person it's named after. I just hope that on MY holiday people will spend the whole day reflecting on my life. But with MY luck they'll just use it as an opportunity to sell furniture or something.

说真的，每次放法定假日不用上学，我从来都不会想这个假日是纪念谁的。 我只希望到时候过我的假日，大家一整天都在缅怀我的生平。 但以我的运气，他们肯定只会借着这个假日卖家具之类的东西。