1

The heat has been frying my brain, and I've been forgetting when my school assignments are due. I forgot a really BIGone today, which was my country project for the International Showcase. Back in November, everyone had to choose a country to do a report on. I picked Italy, because I'm a HUGEpizza fan. But it turns out Italy was a really popular choice, so my Social Studies teacher had to do a random drawing to decide who got it. And she chose Dennis Tracton, which isn't fair because he's lactose intolerant and can't even eat cheese. Dennis said, WOO. HOO So the teacher assigned me Malta, which I didn't even know was a country.

天气热得我脑子都快烤糊了，我老是记不清作业的截止日期。 今天我就忘了一件超级重要的大作业，就是国际展示会的国家主题报告。 早在十一月的时候，每个人都要选一个国家来做报告。 我选了意大利，因为我超级爱吃披萨。 结果没想到选意大利的人特别多，所以社会学老师得抽签决定谁做这个主题。 最后抽中了丹尼斯·特拉克顿，这太不公平了！他乳糖不耐受，连奶酪都吃不了呢。 丹尼斯喊：“哇哦” “吼哦” 所以老师给我分配了马耳他，我之前都不知道这还是个国家呢。

Anyway, that was two months back, and I didn't give my country project a second thought until TODAY. And the only reason I remembered was because when I got to school, everybody was wearing weird clothes. I probably should've realized it was International Showcase day when my friend Rowley came by to get me for school wearing a crazy getup. But he's ALWAYS doing strange stuff, so I barely even noticed.

反正那都是两个月前的事了，我直到今天才想起还有这个国家报告作业。 我能想起来完全是因为，我到学校的时候发现每个人都穿得奇奇怪怪的。 其实我朋友罗利来接我上学的时候就穿得很奇葩了，我本该想到今天是国际展示会的。 可他本来就老是干些怪事，所以我根本没往心里去。

In homeroom, I took a look at Rowley's project to see how much work was involved, and that's when I started to panic. His report looked like it took a TON of time, and it was pretty obvious his parents helped him with it. Of course Rowley had actually BEEN to the country he got assigned, so I'm sure that made it a lot EASIER for him. I asked Rowley to be a pal and switch countries with me, but he's kind of selfish, so he wouldn't go for it. That meant I was on my own, and I only had a few hours to do my whole project from SCRATCH. And I didn't know WHERE I was gonna find a tri-fold this late in the game.

在班主任教室的时候，我看了罗利的作业，想看看要做多少工作，看完我当场就慌了。 他的报告看起来花了超多时间，明眼人都能看出来他爸妈帮他一起做了。 当然啦，罗利还真去过他分到的那个国家，所以对他来说肯定简单多了。 我求罗利当好朋友跟我换国家，可他有点自私，不肯跟我换。 这下只能靠我自己了，我只有几个小时，得从头做完一整个作业。 而且我都不知道这么晚了去哪找三折展示板啊。

That's when I remembered that I had a tri-fold in my LOCKER. I had started my country project the day after it was assigned so I could get ahead of things for once. But when I pulled it out to see how FAR i'd gotten, I was pretty disappointed. This project was 50% of my Social Studies grade, so I was pretty desperate. I tried getting help from my CLASSMATES, but all THAT did was remind me I need to get some smarter friends. I said, Any OF YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE MALTA IS? and they said IN YOUR BUTT and. HAR HAR HAR

这时候我突然想起，我储物柜里就有一块三折展示板。 其实刚布置完作业的第二天我就开工了，本来想难得提前一回赶进度的。 可我把它拿出来看我做了多少的时候，我失望极了。 这个作业占社会学成绩的五成，我当时急得不行。 我找班上同学帮忙，结果这事反倒提醒我，我该交些聪明点的朋友了。 我问：“你们谁知道马耳他在哪吗？” 他们说：“在你屁股里呀”还 哈哈哈哈！

I stayed indoors for recess to work on my project. I didn't have time to go down to the library for research, so I had to do a lot of GUESSING. The only thing I felt pretty sure about was that Malta was near Russia, but I was pretty shaky on everything ELSE. Once I finished filling out my tri-fold, I started working on the OTHERstuff. We were supposed to wear our country's "traditional dress" for the International Showcase, so on the way to lunch I picked out some clothes from the Lost and Found in front of the principal's office.

课间休息我待在教室里赶作业。 我没时间去图书馆查资料，所以好多内容我都是瞎猜的。 我唯一挺确定的就是马耳他在俄罗斯附近，其他的我就完全没底了。 填完三折展示板之后，我开始准备其他东西。 国际展示会要求我们穿对应国家的“传统服饰”，所以午饭路上我从校长室门口的失物招领箱里挑了几件衣服。

Luckily, there were a few decent items in the box, and I put together an outfit that looked pretty convincing. Everyone was supposed to bring in a traditional MEAL, too. At lunch, I bought as many items as I could afford, and threw something together that seemed like it might've come from another country. It was a hot dog and asparagus wrapped in MEAT LOAF Um

幸运的是，箱子里有几件还不错的衣服，我拼拼凑凑凑出一套看起来挺像那么回事的穿搭。 要求每个人还要带一份对应国家的传统食物来。 午饭的时候，我把我买得起的东西都买了，拼拼凑凑弄出一份看起来像是外国来的食物。 就是把热狗和芦笋裹在肉馅面包里，嗯。