9

I couldn't find one of my gloves this morning, so I looked for a replacement. I was already running late, so the best I could come up with was a puppet Mom bought to try and get me to eat healthy food when I was younger. I guess Mom thought that if Mr. Morsels liked vegetables, then I would, too. But I used Mr. Morsels to eat MY vegetables, and when I found him today in the closet, he still had stains on his face from the peas I wouldn't touch in the second grade. Warm, warm NOM

今早我找不到我的一只手套，于是我找东西来顶替它 那时候我已经要迟到了，只能凑合用妈妈早年买的一个手偶，那原本是她买来哄我好好吃饭的 我猜妈妈觉得，如果小块头先生爱吃蔬菜，那我也会跟着爱吃 可我都是让小块头先生替我吃蔬菜，今天我在柜子找到它时，它脸上还留着我二年级不爱碰的豌豆印 暖暖的，唔姆

I know it's kind of ridiculous to wear a puppet as a glove, and I MOSTLY remembered to keep that thing tucked in my coat pocket on the walk to school. But when Cassie Drench rode by in her mom's car, I TOTALLY forgot Mr. Morsels was still on my hand. Speaking of GIRLS, there's been a BIG change to the Safety Patrols in the past few weeks. There used to be a lot of BOYS on the Patrols, but most of them quit or got kicked off before the start of the new year.

我知道把手偶当手套戴有点荒唐，上学路上我大部分时候都记得把它塞在外套口袋里 可卡西·德伦奇坐她妈妈的车经过时，我完全忘了小块头先生还在我手上 说到女生，这几个星期安全巡逻队发生了天大的变化 以前巡逻队里有好多男生，可新年开始前，大部分人要么退队要么被开除了

The last two boys on the Patrols were Eric Reynolds and Dougie Finch, who were both captains. But they had their badges taken away in the first week of January when they got into a snowball fight in front of the kindergarten classroom at the elementary school. So now the Safety Patrols are 100% GIRLS. And I'll bet they've been planning a takeover for a WHILE. The reason is because the guys at my school can be real JERKS. And when it snows, they're REALLY bad.

巡逻队最后剩下的两个男生是埃里克·雷诺兹和道吉·芬奇，他俩都是队长 可一月第一周他们就被收走了徽章，因为他们在小学幼儿园教室门口打雪仗 所以现在安全巡逻队百分之百都是女生了 我敢打赌她们策划夺权已经好久了 原因就是我们学校的男生实在太讨人厌 下雪的时候，他们就更离谱了

After a while, I'm sure the girls got SICK of it, and that's why they put themselves in charge. Now that the girls are in power, they're not messing around. If you throw a single snowball on a school day, the Safety Patrols will report you to the principal, and it'll get you an automatic suspension. So the girls are just PRAYING one of us guys will step out of line.

久而久之，我敢肯定女生们都受够了，所以才自己掌权接管了巡逻队 现在女生掌权了，她们可不会敷衍了事 上学日你哪怕只扔一个雪球，安全巡逻队就会把你报告给校长，还会直接给你停课处分 所以女生们正祈祷着我们哪个男生敢越线呢

Today the road was cleared, but the sidewalk WASN'T. Whenever that happens, me and Rowley just walk in the road. But these new Safety Patrols are sticklers for the rules, and they won't let us walk in the street, even though THEY do it. But it's practically IMPOSSIBLE to walk on the sidewalk when it hasn't been plowed, ESPECIALLY when people are clearing their driveways.

今天马路清出来了，可人行道还没清，碰到这种情况，我和罗利就直接走马路 可这帮新安全巡逻队死抠规则，她们自己都走马路，却不让我们走 没清过雪的人行道根本没法走，尤其是大家都在清理自家车道的时候

In fact, it's hard to even know where the sidewalk IS, and this morning I almost busted a kneecap on a fire hydrant that was buried in a snowdrift. The thing that REALLY stinks is that the Safety Patrols make all us guys walk on the SIDEWALK, but they let all the GIRLS walk on the ROAD.

说真的，连人行道在哪都难找，今早我差点撞到被雪埋住的消防栓，摔破膝盖 最气人的是，安全巡逻队逼我们所有男生走人行道，却让所有女生走马路