6

I walked toward the front of the plane, but before I even got to the first-class section, the flight attendant told me that economy passengers have to use the restroom in the BACK. The bathroom in the economy section was really small, but being in there was a HUNDRED times better than being stuck in my seat. It was sort of like a tiny little apartment I had all to myself.

我走到飞机前部，但还没走到头等舱，空服员就告诉我经济舱的乘客必须使用后面的洗手间。 经济舱的洗手间确实很小，但在里面比被困在座位上要好上百倍。 那是一间很小的公寓，我一个人住。

In science class, we learned that when human waste gets dropped out of an airplane toilet, it freezes solid. Some guy in my town once found a chunk of waste that fell from a plane, and he thought it was a METEORITE. EXCLUSIVE: METEORITE CRASHES THROUGH MAN'S SHED I think the guy was hoping to sell it for a lot of money, but once the thing thawed he found out what he had was totally worthless.

在科学课上，我们学过，当人类排泄物从飞机厕所里掉出来时，它会冻结成固体。 我镇上有个人发现了一块从飞机上掉下来的垃圾，他以为那是陨石。 我想这家伙本来是想把它卖个好价钱，但当它解冻后，他发现自己拥有的东西一文不值。

Once I was settled into the bathroom, I figured there was no reason to go back to my seat. So whenever someone ELSE came along to use it, I just made bathroom noises until they went away. One person must've really needed to go, because they shook the door handle so hard that I thought it might actually break OFF. Then they went away. But a few minutes later, the whole BATHROOM shook.

一旦我在浴室里安顿下来，我想没有理由回到我的座位上。 所以每当有人来用厕所的时候，我就制造厕所的噪音，直到他们走开。 一定有一个人真的需要去，因为他们使劲地摇门把手，我觉得门把手可能会掉下来。 然后他们就走了。但几分钟后，整个浴室都震动了。

Whoever this was needed to use the bathroom a lot more than I did, so I opened the door. But there was no one THERE. That's when I realized it wasn't just the bathroom shaking, it was the whole PLANE. I thought we must've landed in the water or lost an engine or something. But then the pilot came over the intercom. НЕН НЕН. FOLKS, WE JUST HIT A LITTLE PATCH OF BUMPY AIR.

不管这个人是谁，他比我更需要上厕所，所以我打开了门。 但是那里一个人也没有。 那时我才意识到不仅仅是浴室在晃动，整个飞机都在晃动。 我以为我们一定是落水了，或者引擎掉了什么的。 但后来飞行员通过对讲机过来了。 НЕННЕН。伙计们，我们刚碰到一小片颠簸的空气。

That didn't sound right to ME. I figured what REALLY happened was that the pilot fell asleep in his seat and kicked the steering wheel or something, and then he came up with this "bumpy air" excuse. Because that's EXACTLY what I'd do if I were in the same situation. I guess the flight attendant could see that I was pretty rattled. He said we were just going through a little "turbulence," which was perfectly normal for a flight like this.

我听起来不太对劲。 我想真正发生的事情是飞行员在座位上睡着了，踢了方向盘什么的，然后他想出了“颠簸的空气”的借口。 因为如果我在同样的情况下，我也会这么做。 我猜空乘人员能看出我很紧张。 他说我们只是遇到了一点“乱流”，这对这样的飞行来说是很正常的。

Well, if this kind of thing is NORMAL, then there's no chance I'm ever becoming a pilot. Because if I were flying the plane, I'd be out of there at the first sign of trouble. The flight attendant told me I needed to return to my seat and buckle up. But when I got back there, it was already occupied. I didn't want to move the baby, because I knew it would just wake up and start crying again.

好吧，如果这种事情是正常的，那么我就没有机会成为一名飞行员。 因为如果是我在开飞机，一有麻烦我就会马上离开。 空乘人员告诉我，我需要回到座位上系好安全带。 但当我回到那里时，那里已经有人了。 我不想移动孩子，因为我知道他会醒过来又开始哭。