5

One of the toys was a plastic hammer. And as soon as the baby got that thing in its hand, it started pounding on the WINDOW. I've heard that if a window on a plane breaks, everything inside gets sucked OUTSIDE. And that didn't really seem like a good way to go. So when the lady's head was turned, I swiped the hammer from the baby and tucked it under my seat.

Unfortunately, that set the baby off. It turns out nobody likes a crying baby on a plane, and everyone started shooting us dirty looks. Luckily, the lady had a bottle in her bag, and that quieted the kid down for a while. I was getting kind of hungry myself, so I pressed the button for the flight attendant and asked when we could expect to get FED. But he said meals were only for first-class passengers, and he gave me a bag of peanuts to hold me over.

That's when I remembered the snacks I'd bought before we got on the plane. But THEN I remembered that they were in my carry-on bag, which was stowed down below. I guess Mom must've been thinking about food, too. Because as soon as the pilot said we had reached our "cruising altitude" and we were free to move about the cabin, Mom unbuckled her seatbelt and went up to first class with Manny, just in time for dinner. I felt something cold and clammy touch my left elbow, and then something ELSE touched my RIGHT one. The guy behind me had taken off his shoes and socks and slid his feet through the spaces between the seats.

So I guess this guy decided it was OK to use my ARMRESTS as his FOOTRESTS. I was starting to feel boxed in, and then the person in the seat in front of me tilted his seat all the way back, so it was just a few inches from my face. I tried to tilt MY seat back, but I couldn't find the button to do it.

So I called the flight attendant and asked him where the button was. But he told me the seats in our row didn't tilt back because they'd block the emergency row. Now I was starting to SWEAT. I thought I'd read a magazine to take my mind off feeling trapped, but the only thing in the seat pocket was a catalog for all this stuff no one needs. Pizza Blanket Night-time cravings? Satisfy them with the Pizza Blanket, edible bedding that's warm AND tasty! Comes in pepperoni, extra cheese, and anchovies. Snoozos When you just can't sit through that boring meeting, Snoozes glasses make you look wide awake... even when you're anything but! Phone Bubble Protect your phone on rainy days with this clear plastic bubble!

The people on either side of me were watching a movie, so I figured I'd turn my screen on and check it out. The movie looked like a comedy, but my headphones were in my bag, and it was hard to understand what was going on without them. I changed the channel to see what ELSE there was to watch. One channel had a show for little kids, and the baby next to me got interested in what was on my screen. And when I changed it to something else, the kid starte BAWLING.