4

I didn't think these people would be in my row, because there were only TWO empty seats. But the baby sat in his mother's LAP. See, if I were in charge of the airline, the rule would be one person per seat. Because if this couple had TWINS, it would've been completely out of hand. I asked these parents if one of them wanted to switch seats with me so they could be next to each other. But the mother said she liked the window, and her husband said he liked to be on the aisle.

Right after that, the pilot came on the intercom. He said that before we took off, there'd be a brief safety video to show us what to do in case of an emergency. I was already nervous about flying to begin with, and I didn't like hearing there might be an emergency." So when the safety video played, I paid ATTENTION. But as far as I could tell, I was the only person who DID. Everybody else completely tuned out. The beginning of the video was just basic stuff, like how to fasten a seatbelt.

But after that, it got SERIOUS. The video's narrator said that if there was a "loss in cabin pressure," oxygen masks would drop from the ceiling. Well, I don't know what "cabin pressure" is, but I didn't like hearing that we might LOSE it. The people in the video didn't look bothered at ALL when the oxygen masks dropped down, though. In fact, they looked kind of HAPPY about it. Then the video got even WORSE. The narrator said that in case of a water landing," we'd need to evacuate the plane.

Now I was REALLY freaked out. I thought the whole point of an airplane was that it was supposed to stay in the AIR. The safety video said there were emergency exits on the plane and the people sitting in the exit rows would need to open the doors so everybody could get out. The emergency exit was one row behind me, and I realized the people sitting there weren't paying attention to the video at ALL. So I got them to put down their magazines and listen up.

The flight attendants didn't seem bothered that no one was watching the safety video. I figured they probably had their OWN exits, so if there was any trouble, I was gonna follow THEM. The video showed the plane in the water with inflatable slides coming off the emergency exits. And they actually made it look FUN.

Then the video said our seat cushions doubled as "flotation devices," and each one had a whistle attached to it. Now I had questions, so I pressed the button above my seat to get the flight attendant to come over. What I wanted to know was, if we landed in shark-infested waters, would it really be such a good idea to blow the whistle? It felt to ME like we'd basically be inviting the sharks over for a free lunch. The flight attendant said I didn't need to worry, because all the seat cushions were coated with shark repellent, so they wouldn't even come near us.