4

I didn't think these people would be in my row, because there were only TWO empty seats. But the baby sat in his mother's LAP. See, if I were in charge of the airline, the rule would be one person per seat. Because if this couple had TWINS, it would've been completely out of hand. I asked these parents if one of them wanted to switch seats with me so they could be next to each other. But the mother said she liked the window, and her husband said he liked to be on the aisle.

我没想到这些人会坐在我那一排，因为只有两个空座位。 但是婴儿坐在妈妈的膝上。 如果我是航空公司的负责人，规则就是每个座位一人。 因为如果这对夫妇有双胞胎，事情就完全失控了。 我问这些父母，他们中是否有人愿意和我交换座位，这样他们就可以坐在一起了。 但是母亲说她喜欢靠窗的座位，而她丈夫说他喜欢靠过道的座位。

Right after that, the pilot came on the intercom. He said that before we took off, there'd be a brief safety video to show us what to do in case of an emergency. I was already nervous about flying to begin with, and I didn't like hearing there might be an emergency." So when the safety video played, I paid ATTENTION. But as far as I could tell, I was the only person who DID. Everybody else completely tuned out. The beginning of the video was just basic stuff, like how to fasten a seatbelt.

就在那之后，飞行员通过对讲机出现了。 他说在我们起飞之前，会有一个简短的安全视频，告诉我们在紧急情况下该怎么做。 我一开始就对飞行感到紧张，我不喜欢听到可能有紧急情况。” 所以当安全视频播放时，我注意了。 但据我所知，我是唯一一个这么做的人。 其他人都完全没注意。 视频的开始只是一些基本的东西，比如如何系安全带。

But after that, it got SERIOUS. The video's narrator said that if there was a "loss in cabin pressure," oxygen masks would drop from the ceiling. Well, I don't know what "cabin pressure" is, but I didn't like hearing that we might LOSE it. The people in the video didn't look bothered at ALL when the oxygen masks dropped down, though. In fact, they looked kind of HAPPY about it. Then the video got even WORSE. The narrator said that in case of a water landing," we'd need to evacuate the plane.

但在那之后，事情变得严肃起来。 视频的解说员说，如果“客舱压力下降”，氧气面罩就会从天花板上掉下来。 嗯，我不知道“机舱压力”是什么，但我不喜欢听到我们可能会失去它。 当氧气面罩掉下来的时候，视频中的人看起来一点也不烦恼。 事实上，他们看起来挺开心的。 然后视频变得更糟了。 旁白说，万一水上迫降，“我们需要疏散飞机。”

Now I was REALLY freaked out. I thought the whole point of an airplane was that it was supposed to stay in the AIR. The safety video said there were emergency exits on the plane and the people sitting in the exit rows would need to open the doors so everybody could get out. The emergency exit was one row behind me, and I realized the people sitting there weren't paying attention to the video at ALL. So I got them to put down their magazines and listen up.

现在我真的吓坏了。 我以为飞机的全部意义就在于它应该停留在空中。 安全视频显示，飞机上有紧急出口，坐在出口排的人需要打开门，以便所有人都能出去。 紧急出口在我后面一排，我意识到坐在那里的人根本没有注意到视频。 所以我让他们放下杂志，听我说。

The flight attendants didn't seem bothered that no one was watching the safety video. I figured they probably had their OWN exits, so if there was any trouble, I was gonna follow THEM. The video showed the plane in the water with inflatable slides coming off the emergency exits. And they actually made it look FUN.

空乘人员似乎并没有因为没人看安全视频而烦恼。 我想他们可能有自己的出口，所以如果有什么麻烦，我就跟着他们。 视频显示飞机在水中，充气滑梯从紧急出口脱落。 他们实际上让它看起来很有趣。

Then the video said our seat cushions doubled as "flotation devices," and each one had a whistle attached to it. Now I had questions, so I pressed the button above my seat to get the flight attendant to come over. What I wanted to know was, if we landed in shark-infested waters, would it really be such a good idea to blow the whistle? It felt to ME like we'd basically be inviting the sharks over for a free lunch. The flight attendant said I didn't need to worry, because all the seat cushions were coated with shark repellent, so they wouldn't even come near us.

然后视频说，我们的坐垫兼作“漂浮装置”，每个坐垫上都有一个哨子。 现在我有问题了，所以我按下座位上方的按钮，让空乘过来。 我想知道的是，如果我们降落在鲨鱼出没的水域，报警真的是个好主意吗？ 在我看来，我们基本上是在邀请鲨鱼来吃免费午餐。 空乘人员说我不用担心，因为所有的坐垫都涂了防鲨剂，所以它们甚至不会靠近我们。