12

I remembered the beach cabanas from the video they played on the shuttle bus. They showed some couple having a romantic time watching the sunset. Well, maybe that's how it was on the OTHER side of the resort, but on OURS, it was a whole different story.

我记得他们在穿梭巴士上播放的视频里的海滩小屋。 照片上是一对情侣在享受浪漫的日落时光。 嗯，也许在度假村的另一边是这样的，但在我们的，这是一个完全不同的故事。

Mom told me and Rodrick she was taking Manny to the bathroom and that we needed to stay in the cabana. Mom said she got the last one and if we gave it up, somebody else would grab it. One of the families that was waiting was WAY overdressed for the beach. I recognized the older kid from the Treasure Dive the day before. I guess nobody told these people you're not supposed to wear winter clothes in ninety-degree weather. This family looked like they could really use some shade, and I felt kind of guilty. So I tried not to make eye contact.

妈妈告诉我和罗德里克她要带曼尼去洗手间我们得待在小屋里。 妈妈说她拿走了最后一个如果我们放弃了，别人就会拿走。 其中一个等候的家庭对于海滩来说穿得太隆重了。 我认出了前一天在宝藏潜水的那个大孩子。 我猜没人告诉这些人在华氏90度的天气里不应该穿冬装。 这个家庭看起来真的需要一些阴凉，我觉得有点内疚。 所以我尽量不跟他有眼神交流。

Eventually, Mom and Manny came back, and Manny ran off to collect seashells. Mom broke out the sunscreen and started putting it on me and Rodrick. I was glad Dad wasn't there, because he always gets mad when Mom does things for us that he thinks we should be able to do for OURSELVES. I actually think this is all part of Mom's plan. I figure she doesn't want us to become too independent, because then we won't NEED her later on. I do think it could BACKFIRE on Mom, though.

最后，妈妈和曼尼回来了，曼尼跑去捡贝壳了。 妈妈把防晒霜涂在我和罗德里克身上。 我很高兴爸爸不在那里，因为当妈妈为我们做一些他认为我们应该自己做的事情时，他总是很生气。 我觉得这都是妈妈计划的一部分。 我想她不希望我们变得太独立，因为那样我们以后就不需要她了。 不过我觉得这会对妈妈产生反作用。

Because if things keep going the way they're going now, there's a good chance me and Rodrick will go off to college not even knowing how to clip our own toenails. This is one of the ways animals are different from people. In school I learned that once a bear cub is about a year and a half old, its mother sends it out into the wild to take care of itself.

因为如果事情照现在这样发展下去，很有可能我和罗德里克去上大学的时候甚至都不知道怎么剪脚趾甲。 这是动物不同于人的一个方面。 在学校里，我学到了熊宝宝一岁半的时候，它的妈妈就会把它送到野外去照顾自己。

But human beings live with their parents for eighteen YEARS before they're ready to go off into the world. If I'm ever a parent, I'm gonna be like the BEARS. First of all, I'm not gonna spend a lot of time teaching my kids useless information, like the ABCs and colors and shapes. The second my kid is old enough to cross the street safely and place an order at a fast-food restaurant, he's gonna be out of the house. After Mom lathered Rodrick up, she told him he should go to the Teen Zone and try to connect with some kids his age.

但是人类在离开父母来到这个世界之前，要和父母一起生活18年。 如果我当了家长，我要像小熊兄弟那样。 首先，我不会花很多时间教我的孩子无用的信息，比如abc，颜色和形状。 等我的孩子长大到能安全地过马路在快餐店点餐的时候，他就会离开家了。 妈妈给罗德里克涂上泡沫后，她告诉他，他应该去青少年区，试着和一些同龄的孩子交流。

I didn't think Rodrick would be interested, but he went to check it out. That got Mom all excited, and she said I should hang out with the tweens, who were on the beach doing a scavenger hunt. But it was pretty obvious to me that the "scavenger hunt" was really just a beach cleanup in disguise, and I didn't want any PART in that. When Rodrick left I was glad, because that meant more room in the cabana for ME. But a minute later Dad showed up looking really pale.

我以为罗德里克不会感兴趣，但他还是去查了。 这让妈妈很兴奋，她说我应该和那些在海滩上玩寻宝游戏的孩子们一起玩。 但对我来说很明显，“寻宝游戏”实际上只是伪装的海滩清理，我不想参与其中。 罗德里克离开后，我很高兴，因为这意味着我在小屋里有更多的空间。 但一分钟后，爸爸出现了，脸色很苍白。