12

I remembered the beach cabanas from the video they played on the shuttle bus. They showed some couple having a romantic time watching the sunset. Well, maybe that's how it was on the OTHER side of the resort, but on OURS, it was a whole different story.

Mom told me and Rodrick she was taking Manny to the bathroom and that we needed to stay in the cabana. Mom said she got the last one and if we gave it up, somebody else would grab it. One of the families that was waiting was WAY overdressed for the beach. I recognized the older kid from the Treasure Dive the day before. I guess nobody told these people you're not supposed to wear winter clothes in ninety-degree weather. This family looked like they could really use some shade, and I felt kind of guilty. So I tried not to make eye contact.

Eventually, Mom and Manny came back, and Manny ran off to collect seashells. Mom broke out the sunscreen and started putting it on me and Rodrick. I was glad Dad wasn't there, because he always gets mad when Mom does things for us that he thinks we should be able to do for OURSELVES. I actually think this is all part of Mom's plan. I figure she doesn't want us to become too independent, because then we won't NEED her later on. I do think it could BACKFIRE on Mom, though.

Because if things keep going the way they're going now, there's a good chance me and Rodrick will go off to college not even knowing how to clip our own toenails. This is one of the ways animals are different from people. In school I learned that once a bear cub is about a year and a half old, its mother sends it out into the wild to take care of itself.

But human beings live with their parents for eighteen YEARS before they're ready to go off into the world. If I'm ever a parent, I'm gonna be like the BEARS. First of all, I'm not gonna spend a lot of time teaching my kids useless information, like the ABCs and colors and shapes. The second my kid is old enough to cross the street safely and place an order at a fast-food restaurant, he's gonna be out of the house. After Mom lathered Rodrick up, she told him he should go to the Teen Zone and try to connect with some kids his age.

I didn't think Rodrick would be interested, but he went to check it out. That got Mom all excited, and she said I should hang out with the tweens, who were on the beach doing a scavenger hunt. But it was pretty obvious to me that the "scavenger hunt" was really just a beach cleanup in disguise, and I didn't want any PART in that. When Rodrick left I was glad, because that meant more room in the cabana for ME. But a minute later Dad showed up looking really pale.