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It feels like these scary books just came out of NOWHERE. The last series that was really popular at my school was the Underpants Bandits books, but those are yesterday's news now. In fact, I saw a kid walking down the hall with an Underpants Bandits book earlier this week, and an eighth-grader gave him an atomic wedgie. I'm not usually a big fan of scary stories, because when I read them I end up having nightmares. But Rowley's even more of a chicken than I am, because all the books He picked out were from the Spineticklers JUNIOR series, which are supposed to be for kindergarthers.

感觉这些吓人的书不知道从哪里冒出来的。 上一个在我们学校很受欢迎的系列是《内裤强盗》丛书，但那些都是过去的新闻了。 事实上，这周早些时候，我看到一个孩子拿着一本《内裤大盗》走在大厅里，一个八年级的学生给了他一个原子内裤。 我通常不太喜欢恐怖故事，因为当我读到它们的时候，我就会做噩梦。 但罗利比我更胆小，因为他挑的所有书都是《刺挠少年》系列，而这些书应该是给幼儿园的。

Spineticklers JUNIOR SCAREDY CAT AND THE HAUNTED HOUSE BY I.M. SPOOKY At least I'm brave enough for the REAL stuff. One of the books I bought is about this guy who gets frozen and then wakes up in the future. Spineticklers WAKE ME UP IN THE YEAR 3000 BY I.M. SPOOKY I thought it was just a bunch of science fiction, but Albert Sandy said he heard about this rich guy who's doing it for REAL.

《少年恐怖猫与鬼屋》作者：I.M. 至少我对真正的东西有足够的勇气。 我买的其中一本书讲的是一个人被冻住了，然后在未来醒来。 刺虫在3000年由I.M.唤醒我 我以为这只是一堆科幻小说，但阿尔伯特·桑迪说他听说有个有钱人真的在做这件事。

Albert said he saw this news report about an old billionaire who's really sick, and he paid a ton of money to freeze himself. Then, in a hundred years, he's gonna get UNfrozen. He's betting that by then they'll know how to cure every disease and he can go on living forever. This freezing thing sounds like a great plan to ME. And if I strike it rich one day, I'm gonna do the EXACT same thing. But I'm not gonna wait till I'm old like that billionaire.

艾伯特说他看到一则新闻说有个老亿万富翁病得很重，他花了一大笔钱冷冻自己。 再过一百年，他就能解冻了。 他打赌到那时他们会知道如何治愈所有疾病，而他可以永远活着。 对我来说，冷冻这个计划听起来不错。 如果有一天我发了财，我也会做同样的事情。 但我不会等到像那个亿万富翁一样老。

The way I see it, if you freeze yourself when you're too old, then when they unfreeze you in the future, you're gonna be too grumpy to have any fun. GET OFF MY LAWN! So if I win the lottery or something in the next few years, I'm gonna use the money to buy myself a one-way ticket to the future.

在我看来，如果你太老的时候把自己冷冻起来，那么将来他们给你解冻的时候，你就会脾气暴躁，找不到任何乐趣。 滚出我的草坪！所以如果我在接下来的几年里中了彩票之类的，我会用这笔钱给自己买一张通往未来的单程票。

I'm not telling anyone about my plan, though. There's this jerk at our school named Phillip Crivello, and his parents are rich. So if he gets the same idea as me, I could still be dealing with him a hundred years from now. But I'm not sure if a hundred years is far enough to go. By then I'm sure I'll have a bunch of great nieces and nephews who need babysitting, and I'm not spending all that money just so I can change a bunch of dirty diapers in the future.

不过我不会告诉任何人我的计划。 我们学校有个混蛋叫菲利普·克里维洛，他父母很有钱。 所以如果他和我有同样的想法，我可能一百年后还在和他打交道。 但我不确定一百年是否够远。 到那时，我肯定会有一群需要照看的侄子侄女，我不会花那么多钱只是为了将来换一堆脏尿布。

I'm planning on staying frozen a lot longer, like a THOUSAND years, because by then things will be REALLY interesting. I'm not willing to go any further than that, though, because who KNOWS how much human beings will have evolved by then.

我打算冻得更久一些，比如一千年，因为到那时事情会变得非常有趣。 我不愿意再往前走了，因为谁知道到那时人类会进化到什么程度。