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I never found any evidence that this was true, but that didn't stop me from checking every once in a while just to make sure. As Manny got older, it was pretty clear he was getting around on his own. So then I wondered if he was actually a super-high-tech windup toy or even some kind of ROBOT. Then I thought maybe EVERYBODY around me was a robot and I was the only actual human being in the family. Robots need electricity for power, so that would explain why we have two or three outlets in every room of the house.

我从来没有找到任何证据证明这是真的，但这并没有阻止我每隔一段时间检查一下，以确保这一点。 随着曼尼年龄的增长，很明显他已经可以独立生活了。 所以我想知道他是否真的是一个超级高科技的发条玩具，甚至是某种机器人。 然后我想，也许我周围的每个人都是机器人，而我是家里唯一真正的人。 机器人需要电力，所以这就解释了为什么我们在房子的每个房间都有两到三个插座。

It would ALSO explain some of the things my parents say when they think I'm not listening. MAYBE WE SHOULD GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND AND RECHARGE OUR BATTERIES. If robots use batteries, it explains why we have so many of them in the plastic bin in the laundry room. I'm not exactly sure where the batteries GO, but I do have a few guesses.

这也可以解释我父母认为我没在听的时候说的话。 也许我们应该出去度周末，给自己充电。 如果机器人使用电池，这就解释了为什么我们在洗衣房的塑料箱里有这么多电池。 我不太确定电池去了哪里，但我确实有一些猜测。

I figured the only way to find out if my family members were robots was to see if I could get one of them to short-circuit. but either Dad's a waterproof model or he's just a regular human with no sense of humor. THAT incident got me grounded for a week. The people watching my show probably had a good laugh, but I'm sure the ratings were in the toilet for a while after that.

我想知道我的家人是不是机器人的唯一方法就是看看我能不能让他们中的一个短路。 但要么爸爸是个防水模型要么他就是个没有幽默感的普通人。 那件事让我禁足一周。 看我节目的人可能会笑得很开心，但我敢肯定，在那之后的一段时间里，收视率一直在下降。

I guess there's a chance that I'm just an ordinary kid living a normal life, and I'm NOT the star of some TV show. But there could still be SOMEONE out there watching. With all the planets in the universe, there's GOTTA be intelligent life out there. Some people say that if aliens were real, UFOs would be zipping around our skies all the time. But I figure aliens are SMART, and they're just keeping a low profile until the time is right to invade. They're probably spying on us at this very second, gathering information about the way we live our lives.

我想我有可能只是一个过着正常生活的普通孩子，而不是什么电视节目里的明星。 但可能还是有人在看。 宇宙中有那么多行星，肯定有智慧生命存在。 有些人说，如果外星人是真实的，不明飞行物就会一直在我们的天空盘旋。 但我认为外星人很聪明，他们只是在适当的时机入侵之前保持低调。 他们可能此刻就在监视我们，收集关于我们生活方式的信息。

My bet is that houseflies are actually little drones that the aliens use to beam images back to their ships. Because if you've ever seen a picture of a fly up close, it's pretty obvious their "eyes" actually high-tech cameras. The only thing I don't understand is that aliens seem to be really fascinated with dog poop. But I guess they've got their reasons for that.

我敢打赌，家蝇实际上是外星人用来把图像传回飞船的小无人机。 因为如果你曾经近距离看过苍蝇的照片，很明显它们的“眼睛”实际上是高科技相机。 我唯一不明白的是外星人似乎对狗屎很着迷。 但我想他们这么做是有原因的。

I've tried to explain my theories to my parents and other grown-ups, but it's pretty clear nobody wants to hear what some kid has to say. So every chance I get, I make sure the aliens know I'm on their side. I hope I got it right about the flies, though. Because if the drones are actually MOSQUITOES, we can probably expect an alien invasion any second now.

我试着向我的父母和其他成年人解释我的理论，但很明显没有人想听一个孩子说的话。 所以只要有机会，我就会让外星人知道我是站在他们这边的。 不过我希望我对苍蝇的理解是正确的。 因为如果这些无人机真的是蚊子，我们可能随时会有外星人入侵。