1

I never found any evidence that this was true, but that didn't stop me from checking every once in a while just to make sure. As Manny got older, it was pretty clear he was getting around on his own. So then I wondered if he was actually a super-high-tech windup toy or even some kind of ROBOT. Then I thought maybe EVERYBODY around me was a robot and I was the only actual human being in the family. Robots need electricity for power, so that would explain why we have two or three outlets in every room of the house.

It would ALSO explain some of the things my parents say when they think I'm not listening. MAYBE WE SHOULD GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND AND RECHARGE OUR BATTERIES. If robots use batteries, it explains why we have so many of them in the plastic bin in the laundry room. I'm not exactly sure where the batteries GO, but I do have a few guesses.

I figured the only way to find out if my family members were robots was to see if I could get one of them to short-circuit. but either Dad's a waterproof model or he's just a regular human with no sense of humor. THAT incident got me grounded for a week. The people watching my show probably had a good laugh, but I'm sure the ratings were in the toilet for a while after that.

I guess there's a chance that I'm just an ordinary kid living a normal life, and I'm NOT the star of some TV show. But there could still be SOMEONE out there watching. With all the planets in the universe, there's GOTTA be intelligent life out there. Some people say that if aliens were real, UFOs would be zipping around our skies all the time. But I figure aliens are SMART, and they're just keeping a low profile until the time is right to invade. They're probably spying on us at this very second, gathering information about the way we live our lives.

My bet is that houseflies are actually little drones that the aliens use to beam images back to their ships. Because if you've ever seen a picture of a fly up close, it's pretty obvious their "eyes" actually high-tech cameras. The only thing I don't understand is that aliens seem to be really fascinated with dog poop. But I guess they've got their reasons for that.

I've tried to explain my theories to my parents and other grown-ups, but it's pretty clear nobody wants to hear what some kid has to say. So every chance I get, I make sure the aliens know I'm on their side. I hope I got it right about the flies, though. Because if the drones are actually MOSQUITOES, we can probably expect an alien invasion any second now.