12

Sometimes Rodrick just took my money outright. Once, when I lost one of my baby teeth, I put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy. But when I went to see if she left me fifty cents, I found a note that I'm pretty sure Rodrick wrote himself. SORRY I'M LIGHT ON CASH TONIGHT. I WILL HOOK YOU UP NEXT TIME. -T.F. Rodrick told me the tooth fairy was only ONE of the fairies that comes in the middle of the night and gives money. He said there was an arm fairy and a leg fairy and a bunch of other ones, too. Rodrick said that when you get older your child arms and legs fall off, and when they do, you put them under your pillow and get money.

He said after THAT, your adult limbs start growing in, but sometimes a kid's arms or legs get loose and the adult ones come in early. I was TERRIFIED that was gonna happen to ME, so I checked every night to make sure my arms and legs were on tight. Rodrick was always coming up with ways to scare me. Back when our basement wasn't finished, there were open gaps under the stair treads.

Rodrick said if I went up the stairs too slow, a monster would grab my ankle. From then on, I started taking the stairs two at a time. After I got good at THAT, I tried taking the stairs THREE at a time. But I guess that was a little too ambitious.

Eventually we finished the basement and the gaps were covered up with wood. But GRAMMA'S basement is still unfinished, and before I go down there I usually make sure everything's all clear first. Another thing Rodrick said to scare me was that if I burped indoors, the ghost of George Washington would haunt me. I have no idea how he came up with THAT one, but it still makes me think twice before opening a can of soda.

Sometimes Rodrick would tell me something that actually COULD be true, and that's when things got confusing. He told me once that if a person sleeps with their mouth open they'll eat an average of five spiders a night, which is kind of believable if you think about it. Another time Rodrick told me that it's dangerous to wake someone up when they're sleepwalking. I thought there could be a chance he was actually telling the truth, because I'm pretty sure I heard that one somewhere else.

But then a few nights later I caught Rodrick eating an ice cream sandwich that was supposed to be MINE and I realized it was just another one of his dirty tricks. I've been lied to so much over the years, it could take me the rest of my life to figure out what's true and what's not. In the meantime, I'm not taking any chances.