11

Well, I guess I took it too far, because the next day Mom came to school with that letter, demanding to speak to Curtis Litz. The secretary told Mom there was no student named Curtis Litz at the school, and when Mom asked me about him I said he must be homeschooled. After that I got kind of nervous, and for the next two weeks I had Rowley eat my apple at lunch and give me the core.

我想我做得太过分了，因为第二天妈妈带着那封信来学校，要求和柯蒂斯·利茨谈谈。 秘书告诉妈妈学校里没有叫柯蒂斯·利茨的学生，当妈妈问起他的情况时，我说他一定是在家上学的。 在那之后，我有点紧张，在接下来的两个星期里，我让罗利在午餐时吃我的苹果，然后把苹果核给我。

Mom seemed to forget all about it until we sat a row behind the Bartlemans at church one weekend. Their fifth-grade son, Tevin, looked just like my description of Curtis Litz, and he caught Mom's eye. Mom told Tevin's parents they're raising a rotten kid and that they owed her some apples. I felt pretty bad, because Tevin Bartleman is a nice kid and his family volunteers at the soup kitchen downtown every Saturday morning. Later on in the year Mom joined the Fundraising Committee, which was headed up by Mrs. Bartleman. It didn't take long for Mom to figure things out from there, and I lost TV privileges for a whole month as punishment.

妈妈似乎把这件事忘得一干二净，直到有一天周末去教堂，我们坐在巴特曼一家后面一排。 他们五年级的儿子特文（Tevin）长得很像我对柯蒂斯·利茨（Curtis Litz）的描述，引起了妈妈的注意。 妈妈告诉特文的父母，他们养育了一个坏孩子，他们欠她一些苹果。 我感觉很糟糕，因为特文·巴特尔曼是个好孩子他的家人每周六早上都在市中心的施粥所做志愿者。 那年晚些时候，妈妈加入了由巴特尔曼夫人领导的筹款委员会。 没过多久妈妈就明白了，作为惩罚，我被剥夺了整整一个月看电视的权利。

But I actually ended up getting a DOUBLE punishment, because for the rest of that year, every time Tevin saw me in the hallway, he really let me have it. Last night Mom decided that my punishment for lying was for me to take THREE chores out of the Grab Bag every day this week. Unfortunately, she already cleared out all of Rodrick's slips of paper, which means there's no chance I'll get an easy one. EAT SOME ICE CREAM.

但实际上我最后受到了加倍的惩罚，因为在那一年剩下的时间里，每次特文在走廊里看到我，他都对我放任自流。 昨天晚上，妈妈决定惩罚我撒谎，这周每天从“抢包”里拿三件家务。 不幸的是，她已经清空了罗德里克的所有文件，也就是说我不可能轻易拿到一份。 吃点冰淇淋。

When we wrapped up our conversation last night, Mom said I'm a smart kid with a good imagination, but I just need to DO something with it. Listen, I'm not proud of myself for lying, but trust me, I'm not the ONLY one in this family who bends the truth. I've heard grown-ups lie ten times a week, but if you ask me I'll bet it's even MORE than that. The first time I remember Mom telling me a lie was when I was about three years old and she had me try broccoli. IT TASTES LIKE CANDY! And Mom doesn't seem to have any problem lying to MANNY, either.

当我们昨晚结束谈话时，妈妈说我是一个聪明的孩子，有很好的想象力，但我只是需要用它做点什么。 听着，我并不为自己撒谎感到骄傲，但相信我，我不是这个家里唯一一个歪曲事实的人。 我听说成年人一周说谎十次，但如果你问我，我敢打赌不止十次。 我记得妈妈第一次对我说谎是在我三岁的时候，她让我尝试西兰花。 它尝起来像糖果！妈妈对曼尼撒谎似乎也没有任何问题。

Last December, when Mom put the gingerbread house out on the kitchen table, she told Manny not to touch it until Christmas or it would turn into a million spiders, which is kind of a crazy thing to tell a little kid. But it backfired when Manny fumigated the gingerbread house with a can of bug spray. Dad's a pretty honest guy in general, but even He fibs when it's convenient for him. Dad used to HATE it when the ice cream truck came through our neighborhood, because me and Rodrick would always start begging him for money as soon as we heard the music. So Dad told us the ice cream truck only plays music when they're OUT of ice cream.

去年12月，妈妈把姜饼屋放在厨房的桌子上，她告诉曼尼在圣诞节前不要碰它，否则它会变成无数只蜘蛛，这对一个小孩子来说有点疯狂。 但曼尼用一罐灭虫喷雾给姜饼屋熏蒸后，结果适得其反。 总的来说，爸爸是一个相当诚实的人，但他也会在方便的时候撒些小谎。 爸爸以前很讨厌冰淇淋车经过我们社区，因为我和罗德里克一听到音乐就开始向他要钱。 爸爸告诉我们冰淇淋车只在冰淇淋卖完了的时候才放音乐。

I actually think lying might be inherited, because GRANDPA does it, too. But he should've gotten his stories straight with Dad, because Grandpa used to say the ice cream truck driver was a clown who spanked children he caught roaming around outside. I'm kind of embarrassed to say that when Grandpa first told me that, I actually BELIEVED him.

我觉得说谎可能是遗传的，因为爷爷也会说谎。 但他应该把事情原原本本地告诉爸爸，因为爷爷过去常说那个冰淇淋卡车司机是个小丑，逮到孩子在外面闲逛就打他屁股。 说起来有点不好意思，当爷爷第一次告诉我的时候，我居然相信了他的话。