10

Then I started getting kind of WORRIED, because the pig really didn't look so good. I figured Grandpa might know what to do, but he was out on a date with Mrs. Fredericks. I woke Rodrick up and asked HIM what to do, and he said I should call Dad. So I did, but Dad was in a meeting. I didn't want to bother Mom, because I knew she was at her college signing up for classes. But the pig was turning green, so I called her anyway. I told her that the pig seemed pretty sick, and she asked me if it had eaten anything strange.

I really didn't wanna tell her it had gotten into my candy corn, so I told her I wasn't sure. She said we'd better take the pig to the vet just in case, and that she was leaving school and would meet us there. Rodrick wasn't happy I was waking him up for the second time in five minutes, but one look at the pig convinced him we needed to get moving. On the ride over, I held the pig in my arms in the back of Rodrick's van. But halfway to the vet the pig started making weird sounds. GLORK GLORK GLORK

I told Rodrick to pull over, but by the time he did it was already too late. Now there was a giant, gooey, orange-and-yellow puddle on the floor of Rodrick's van. And I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to look at candy corn the same way again. Rodrick said it was my fault for making the pig sick, so it was MY job to clean it up. Then he handed me a roll of paper towels and told me to get to work.

Even though the puddle was candy corn, it didn't SMELL like it. I tried mopping it up while holding my breath, but it was hopeless. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and realized I was gonna get sick MYSELF. Fortunately, I was able to get out of the van in time. UNFORTUNATELY, the lady whose yard we were parked in front of was outside raking leaves and saw the whole thing.

I guess she thought we were a couple of bad kids and this was some kind of juvenile prank, because she said she was calling the COPS. So I got back in the van and we peeled out of there as fast as we could and turned on to the highway. But we didn't get far. Luckily, I was able to explain everything to the police officer, but he didn't seem to want to hear all the details.

Just after the cop drove away, Mom spotted Rodrick's van on the highway and pulled in behind us. And I guess the pig hadn't totally emptied out yet, because it coughed up one last puddle of candy corn. Tuesday Last night when we got home, Mom said she wasn't mad at me, she was DISAPPOINTED. And when it comes to Mom, that's even WORSE. She said she's disturbed by my "pattern of deception," and that between the incident at Maddox's house and what happened with the pig, she didn't feel like I could be trusted. I explained for the millionth time that the Lego thing was just a misunderstanding, but she'd obviously already made up her mind about that one.