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OCTOBER Wednesday My parents are always saying the world doesn't revolve around me, but sometimes I wonder if it actually DOES. When I was a little kid, I saw this movie about a man whose whole life is secretly being filmed for a TV show. This guy is famous all over the world, and he doesn't KNOW it. Well, ever since I saw that movie, I've kind of figured the same thing is probably happening to ME. HOPE YOU CREEPS ARE ENJOYING YOURSELVES!

At first I was annoyed my life was being broadcast without my permission. But then I realized that if millions of people are tuning in every day to see what I'm up to, that's actually kind of COOL. Sometimes I worry that my life is too BORING to be its own television show, so I try to do something entertaining every now and then to give the people watching at home a good chuckle. WHOOPS!

The other thing I do is send my audience little signals to let them know I'm in on the secret. If my life's a TV show, then there's gotta be commercial breaks. I figure they must run the ads when I'm in the bathroom, so I always make a big entrance after I finish up in there. I'M BAAAACCCCKKK!

But sometimes I wonder how much of my life is REAL and how much of it is RIGGED. Because half the things that happen to me are so ridiculous, I wonder if someone ELSE is pulling the strings. If it's all fake, the LEAST the people in charge can do is give me some juicier story lines to work with. HOW ABOUT "GREG GETS A GIRLFRIEND"? OR "GREG GETS A MOTORCYCLE"? OR "GREG GETS A GIRLFRIEND AND A MOTORCYCLE"?

Every once in a while I wonder if the people in my life are who they SEEM to be, or if they're really just ACTORS. If they're actors, I hope the kid who's playing my friend Rowley gets an award, because he's doing a great job pretending to be a doofus. And if my brother Rodrick is actually just some guy getting PAID to act like a jerk, then that makes me see him in a whole new light. Who knows? Maybe he's a nice guy in real life, and one day well be good friends.