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But I found out it was REALLY just a place where parents could dump their kids off for some cheap babysitting. The downside of spending that much time in a dark theater is that at the end of the day it took a half hour for my eyes to adjust to the sunlight.

但我发现，这真的只是一个父母可以把孩子扔到廉价保姆那里的地方。 在黑暗的剧院里呆那么长时间的缺点是，在一天结束的时候，我的眼睛要花半个小时才能适应阳光。

The other reason I signed up for Film Camp was to get out of the HOUSE. Ever since we got a pet pig, it hasn't been a lot of fun being home. Especially not at DINNER. For the record, I think it's a TERRIBLE idea letting the pig eat at the table, because it ALREADY thinks it's a human being. And the last thing we need is for it to think it's on equal footing with the rest of us. Right after we got the pig, Mom thought it would be fun to teach it some tricks. So she would give the pig a cookie when it stood on its hind legs.

我报名参加电影夏令营的另一个原因是为了离开白宫。 自从我们养了一只宠物猪，在家里就没什么乐趣了。 尤其是在吃饭的时候。郑重声明，我认为让猪在餐桌上吃饭是个糟糕的主意，因为它已经认为自己是人类了。 我们最不需要的就是让它认为自己和我们是平等的。 就在我们得到猪之后，妈妈认为教它一些把戏会很有趣。 所以当猪用后腿站立时，她会给它一块饼干。

But the pig learned to WALK like that, and it hasn't been on all fours ever since. To make matters WORSE, my little brother, Manny, put a pair of his shorts on the pig, so now it's like we're living in the house with a Disney character. Mom used to take the pig outside, but after it started walking upright, it decided it was too good for its leash. Mom was worried that if the pig ran off we'd never find it, so she got a collar with one of those GPS tracking chips in it.

但是小猪学会了那样走路，从那以后它就再也没有四肢着地了。 更糟糕的是，我的小弟弟曼尼把他的短裤穿在了猪身上，所以现在我们就像和迪斯尼人物住在一起一样。 妈妈过去常把猪带到外面去，但在它开始直立行走后，它觉得自己太乖了，不需要拴着它了。 妈妈担心如果猪跑了我们就找不到它了，所以她买了个项圈，里面装了GPS追踪芯片。

But every time Mom put the collar on the pig, within five minutes it would be back OFF. And don't even ask me how the pig did THAT, since pigs don't even have THUMBS. So now the pig just comes and goes as it pleases, and who KNOWS where it spends its time. What really stinks is that I have a curfew but the pig DOESN'T.

但每次妈妈给猪戴上项圈，不到五分钟，它就会脱下来。 不要问我猪是怎么做到的，因为猪根本没有拇指。 所以现在猪来了，走了，想去就去，谁知道它在哪里消磨时间。 真正糟糕的是，我有宵禁，但猪没有。

I think giving the pig too many privileges is a REALLY bad idea. One day pigs will rule the world, and it'll be my family's fault for starting it all. I wouldn't really have an issue with the pig if it didn't interfere with MY life. But I was late on the first day of school because it was hogging the bathroom. With the pig in the house, I was actually looking FORWARD to school starting. But once I got there I realized it was just the same old thing.

我认为给猪太多的特权是一个非常糟糕的主意。 总有一天猪会统治世界，而这一切都是我家族的错。 如果这只猪不干扰我的生活，我真的不会对它有什么意见。 但我上学的第一天就迟到了，因为它占用了浴室。 家里有了猪，我其实很期待开学。 但当我到了那里，我意识到还是老样子。

And to be honest with you, I feel like I've been in middle school FOREVER. I needed to mix things up a little or I was gonna go crazy. So in the first week of school, I volunteered for the Homework Buddies program. BE A BUDDY! TEAM UP WITH AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KID TO LEND A HAND! SIGN UP FOR HOMEWORK BUDDIES TODAY!

说实话，我觉得我好像永远都在上中学。 我需要把事情弄得更复杂一点，不然我就要疯了。 所以在开学的第一周，我自愿参加了家庭作业伙伴项目。 做个好朋友！和一个小学生一起伸出援助之手！今天就注册家庭作业伙伴吧！