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SEPTEMBER Saturday. Grown-ups are always talking about the "good old days" and how things were so much better when THEY were kids. But I think they're just jealous because MY generation has all this fancy technology and stuff they didn't have growing up. Believe me, I'm sure when I have kids of my own, I'm gonna be the exact same way my parents are NOW. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, WE USED OUR LEGS FOR GETTING AROUND! YEAH, WHATEVER, POPS!

Mom's always saying that when SHE was younger, it was great because everybody in town knew everybody else and it was like one giant family. But that doesn't sound so great to ME. I like my privacy, and I really don't need everyone knowing my personal business. Mom says the problem with society these days is that everybody's got their nose in a screen and nobody takes the time to get to know the people who live around them. I don't really see eye to eye with Mom on that issue, though.

Personally, I think a little separation is a GOOD thing. Lately, Mom's been going around town with a petition to get people to stop using their phones and electronic gadgets for forty-eight hours. Let's UNPLUG to RECONNECT! Electronics are cluttering our lives! Let's put down our devices for a weekend and get to know one another! Who's in?

Mom needs a hundred signatures before she can take the petition to Town Hall, but she's having trouble getting people to put their names on it. I'm just hoping she gives up on this idea soon, because it's kind of exhausting for the rest of us to pretend we don't know her. I really don't understand why Mom thinks we need to go BACKWARD, anyway. From what I can tell, the old days weren't that much fun. If you think about it, you never see anyone in those black-and-white photos SMILING.

In the old days, people were just a whole lot TOUGHER than they are today. But human beings have EVOLVED, and now we need things like electric toothbrushes and shopping malls and soft-serve ice cream to survive.