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OOPS. HI, I'M STEW PID. I must've banged out twenty strips, and I didn't even break a sweat. I WONDER WHAT IS IN THIS CUTE LITTLE BOX? THAT'S NOT A BOX, IT'S A BRICK, YOU DUMB MORON! OOPS. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO OPEN IT ALL DAY.

DOCTOR, COULD I HAVE A NEW BUTT? MY OLD ONE HAS A CRACK IN IT. CREIGHTON, I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, EVERYONE'S BUTT HAS A CRACK IN IT! OH YEAH, I FORGOT. The great thing about these "Creighton the Cretin" comics is that with all the idiots running around my school, I will never run out of new material. When I got to school today, I took my comics to Mr. Ira's office. He's the teacher who runs the school newspaper. But when I went to turn my strips in, I saw that there was a pile of comics from other kids who were trying out for the job. Most of them were pretty bad, so I wasn't too worried about the competition.

Girls RULE! by tabitha cutter and lisa russel. don't walk near our lunch table, tyler green! yeah, you're not even cute! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! girls RULE!

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One of the comics was called "Dumb Teachers," and it was written by this kid named Bill Tritt. Bill is always in detention, so I guess he has a bone to pick with just about every teacher in the school, including Mr. Ira. So I'm not too worried about the chances of Bill's comic getting in, either.

Hey, Mr. Ira, you pooped your pants again. Nuh Uh! Yuh Huh! There were actually one or two decent comics in the bin. But I slipped them under a pile of paperwork on Mr. Ira's desk. Hopefully, those ones won't turn up until I'm in high school. Thursday Today, during morning announcements, I got the news I was hoping for.