08 The Funny Walking-stick

The Funny Walking-stick To pay Mrs Twit back for the worms in his spaghetti, Mr Twit thought up a really clever nasty trick. One night, when the old woman was asleep, he crept out of bed and took her walking-stick downstairs to his workshed. There he stuck a tiny round piece of wood (no thicker than a penny) on to the bottom of the stick.

滑稽的手杖为了报答特威特太太在他吃的意大利面条里的虫子，特威特先生想出了一个非常聪明的恶心的把戏。 一天晚上，当老妇人睡着了，他爬下床，把她的手杖拿到楼下他的工作间。 在那里，他把一小块圆木头(不比一便士厚)粘在棍子的底部。

This made the stick longer, but the difference was so small, the next morning Mrs Twit didn't notice it. The following night, Mr Twit stuck on another tiny bit of wood. Every night, he crept downstairs and added an extra tiny thickness of wood to the end of the walking-stick. He did it very neatly so that the extra bits looked like a part of the old stick. Gradually, but oh so gradually, Mrs Twit's walking-stick was getting longer and longer. Now when something is growing very slowly, it is almost impossible to notice it happening. You yourself, for example, are actually growing taller every day that goes by, but you wouldn't think it, would you? It's happening so slowly you can't even notice it from one week to the next. It was the same with Mrs Twit's walking-stick. It was all so slow and gradual that she didn't notice how long it was getting even when it was halfway up to her shoulder. 'That stick's too long for you,' Mr Twit said to her one day.

这使棍子变长了，但差别很小，第二天早上特威特太太没有注意到。 第二天晚上，特威特先生又粘上了一小块木头。 每天晚上，他都蹑手蹑脚地下楼，在手杖的末端加一根薄薄的木头。 他做得很整齐，这样多余的部分看起来就像旧棍子的一部分。 渐渐地，特威特太太的手杖变得越来越长了。 现在，当一些东西生长得非常缓慢时，几乎不可能注意到它的发生。 比如你自己，实际上每天都在长高，但你不会想到这一点，对吧? 它发生得如此缓慢，你甚至无法从一周到下一周注意到它。 特威特太太的手杖也是如此。 这一切都是那么缓慢和渐进，她没有注意到它有多长，甚至当它到她的肩膀一半的时候。 “那根棍子对你来说太长了。”一天，推特先生对她说。

'Why so it is!' Mrs Twit said, looking at the stick. 'I've had a feeling there was something wrong but I couldn't for the life of me think what it was.' 'There's something wrong all right,' Mr Twit said, beginning to enjoy himself. 'What can have happened?' Mrs Twit said, staring at her old walking-stick. 'It must suddenly have grown longer.' 'Don't be a fool!' Mr Twit said. 'How can a walking-stick possibly grow longer? It's made of dead wood, isn't it? Dead wood can't grow.'

“为什么是这样!”特威特太太看着那根棍子说。 “我一直有种不对劲的感觉，但我怎么也想不出是怎么回事。“一定是出了什么事，”特维特先生说，开始高兴起来。 “会发生什么事呢?”特威特太太盯着她的旧手杖说。 “它一定是突然变长了。“别犯傻了!”推特说。 “一根手杖怎么可能变长呢?” 这是用枯木做的，不是吗? 枯木不能生长。”

'Then what on earth has happened?' cried Mrs Twit. 'It's not the stick, it's you!' said Mr Twit, grinning horribly. 'It's you that's getting shorter! I've been noticing it for some time now.' 'That's not true!' cried Mrs Twit. 'You're shrinking, woman!' said Mr Twit. 'It's not possible!' 'Oh yes it jolly well is,' said Mr Twit. 'You're shrinking fast! You're shrinking dangerously fast! Why, you must have shrunk at least a foot in the last few days!' 'Never!' she cried. 'Of course you have! Take a look at your stick, you old goat, and see how much you've shrunk in comparison! You've got the shrinks, that's what you've got! You've got the dreaded shrinks!' Mrs Twit began to feel so trembly she had to sit down.

“那到底发生了什么事?”特威特太太叫道。 “不是棍子的问题，是你的问题!”特威特先生狞笑着说。 “是你变矮了!”我注意到这一点已经有一段时间了。“这不是真的!”特威特太太叫道。 “你在退缩，女人!”推特先生说。 “这不可能!”“哦，是的，确实是这样，”推特先生说。 “你缩得太快了!”你萎缩得太快了!咦，你这几天至少瘦了一英尺吧!“从来没有!她叫道。 “你当然有!”看看你的手杖吧，你这只老山羊，相比之下你缩水了多少!你有心理医生，这就是你的!你得了可怕的心理医生!”特威特太太开始感到浑身发抖，不得不坐下来。