03 Dirty Beards

Dirty Beards As you know, an ordinary unhairy face like yours or mine simply gets a bit smudgy if it is not washed often enough, and there's nothing so awful about that. But a hairy face is a very different matter. Things cling to hairs, especially food. Things like gravy go right in among the hairs and stay there. You and I can wipe our smooth faces with a flannel and we quickly look more or less all right again, but the hairy man cannot do that. We can also, if we are careful, eat our meals without spreading food all over our faces. But not so the hairy man. Watch carefully next time you see a hairy man eating his lunch and you will notice that even if he opens his mouth very wide, it is impossible for him to get a spoonful of beefstew or ice-cream and chocolate sauce into it without leaving some of it on the hairs. Mr Twit didn't even bother to open his mouth wide when he ate. As a result (and because he

如你所知，像你我这样没有毛的普通脸，如果不经常清洗，就会变得有点脏，这没什么可怕的。 但脸上多毛就是另一回事了。 头发上粘着东西，尤其是食物。 像肉汁这样的东西会直接进入头发中间，并留在那里。 你和我可以用法兰绒擦一擦我们光滑的脸，我们很快就会或多或少地恢复健康，但毛茸茸的人做不到这一点。 如果我们小心的话，我们也可以在吃饭的时候不把食物弄得满脸都是。 但那个毛茸茸的男人就不一样了。下次你看到一个多毛的人吃午饭时，你会注意到，即使他把嘴张得很大，他也不可能把一勺炖牛肉或冰淇淋和巧克力酱放进嘴里，而不把一些东西留在头发上。 推特先生吃东西的时候甚至都懒得张大嘴巴。 结果(也因为他)

never washed) there were always hundreds of bits of old breakfasts and lunches and suppers sticking to the hairs around his face. They weren't big bits, mind you, because he used to wipe those off with the back of his hand or on his sleeve while he was eating. But if you looked closely (not that you'd ever want to) you would see tiny little specks of dried-up scrambled eggs stuck to the hairs, and spinach and tomato ketchup and fish fingers and minced chicken livers and all the other disgusting things Mr Twit liked to eat.

他脸上的头发上总是粘着成百上千的早餐、午餐和晚餐的残渣。 提醒你一下，它们不是大块的，因为他以前吃东西的时候会用手背或袖子把它们擦掉。 但如果你仔细观察(当然你不会想仔细观察)，你会发现头发上粘着干枯的炒鸡蛋，还有菠菜、番茄酱、鱼条、碎鸡肝，以及推特先生喜欢吃的所有其他恶心的东西。

If you looked closer still (hold your noses, ladies and gentlemen), if you peered deep into the moustachy bristles sticking out over his upper lip, you would probably see much larger objects that had escaped the wipe of his hand, things that had been there for months and months, like a piece of maggoty green cheese or a mouldy old cornflake or even the slimy tail of a tinned sardine. Because of all this, Mr Twit never went really hungry. By sticking out his tongue and curling it sideways to explore the hairy jungle around his mouth, he was always able to find a tasty morsel here and there to nibble on. What I am trying to tell you is that Mr Twit was a foul and smelly old man.

如果你再仔细观察(女士们，先生们，请捏住鼻子)，如果你深入观察他上唇上伸出的胡子鬃毛，你可能会看到更大的东西，这些东西没有被他的手擦过，已经在那里呆了好几个月了，比如一块长满蛆的绿奶酪，一块发霉的旧玉米片，甚至是罐头沙丁鱼的黏糊糊的尾巴。 正因为如此，推特先生从来没有真正挨饿过。 他伸出舌头，把舌头卷到一边，探索嘴巴周围毛茸茸的丛林，他总能在这里和那里找到美味的食物。 我想告诉你的是，特威特先生是个又臭又脏的老头。

He was also an extremely horrid old man, as you will find out in a moment.

他也是一个非常可怕的老人，你马上就会发现。