02 The Marvellous Plan

The Marvellous Plan George sat himself down at the table in the kitchen. He was shaking a little. Oh, how he hated Grandma! He really hated that horrid old witchy woman. And all of a sudden he had a tremendous urge to do something about her. Something whopping. Something absolutely terrific. A real shocker. A sort of explosion. He wanted to blow away the witchy smell that hung about her in the next room. He may have been only eight years old but he was a brave little boy. He was ready to take this old woman on. 'I'm not going to be frightened by her,' he said softly to himself. But he was frightened. And that's why he wanted suddenly to explode her away. Well… not quite away. But he did want to shake the old woman up a bit. Very well, then. What should it be, this whopping terrific exploding shocker for

绝妙的计划乔治在厨房的桌旁坐了下来。 他有点发抖。啊，他多么恨奶奶啊!他真的很讨厌那个可怕的老巫婆。 突然间，他有一种强烈的冲动，想对她做点什么。 巨大的东西。绝对很棒的东西。 真是令人震惊。一种爆炸。 他想把隔壁房间里萦绕在她身上的妖魔味吹走。 他可能只有八岁，但他是一个勇敢的小男孩。 他准备和这位老妇人较量一番。 “我不会被她吓倒的，”他轻声对自己说。 但是他很害怕。所以他突然想把她炸飞。 嗯，还没到。但他确实想让老妇人振作起来。 那好吧。这是什么，这个巨大的可怕的爆炸震波

Grandma? He would have liked to put a firework banger under her chair but he didn't have one. He would have liked to put a long green snake down the back of her dress but he didn't have a long green snake.

奶奶吗?他很想在她的椅子下面放一个烟花爆竹，但是他没有。 他很想在她的裙子后面放一条长长的绿蛇，但是他没有。

He would have liked to put six big black rats in the room with her and lock the door but he didn't have six big black rats. As George sat there pondering this interesting problem, his eye fell upon the bottle of Grandma's brown medicine standing on the sideboard. Rotten stuff it seemed to be. Four times a day a large spoonful of it was shovelled into her mouth and it didn't do her the slightest bit of good. She was always just as horrid after she'd had it as she'd been before. The whole point of medicine, surely, was to make a person better. If it didn't do that, then it was quite useless. So-ho! thought George suddenly. Ah-ha! Hohum! I know exactly what I'll do. I shall make her a new medicine, one that is so strong and so fierce and so fantastic it will either cure her completely or blow off the top of her head. I'll make her a magic medicine, a medicine no doctor in the world has ever made before. George looked at the kitchen clock. It said five past ten. There was nearly an hour left before

他本想在她的房间里放六只大黑鼠，然后把门锁上，但他没有六只大黑鼠。 当乔治坐在那里思考这个有趣的问题时，他的目光落在餐具柜上奶奶的棕色药瓶上。 它似乎是一种腐烂的东西。 一天四次，一大勺这种药被塞进她嘴里，但对她一点好处也没有。 她生完病后总是和以前一样可怕。 毫无疑问，医学的全部意义在于让一个人变得更好。 如果它不能做到这一点，那么它就毫无用处。 ,嚯!乔治突然想。 啊哈!令人生厌的!我很清楚我该怎么做。 我要给她做一种新药，一种非常强效、非常凶猛、非常神奇的药，要么把她完全治好，要么把她的脑袋轰掉。 我会给她做一种神奇的药，一种世界上从来没有医生做过的药。 乔治看了看厨房的钟。 上面说十点过五分。还有将近一个小时

Grandma's next dose was due at eleven. 'Here we go, then!' cried George, jumping up from the table. 'A magic medicine it shall be!' 'So give me a bug and a jumping flea, Give me two snails and lizards three, And a slimy squiggler from the sea, And the poisonous sting of a bumblebee, And the juice from the fruit of the ju-jube tree, And the powdered bone of a wombat's knee. And one hundred other things as well Each with a rather nasty smell. I'll stir them up, I'll boil them long, A mixture tough, a mixture strong.

奶奶下次吃药的时间是十一点。 “那么，我们走吧!”乔治叫道，从桌子上跳了起来。 “这是一种神奇的药!”“那么，给我一只小虫和一只跳跃的跳蚤，给我两只蜗牛和三只蜥蜴，给我一只海里的黏糊糊的蛇，给我一只大黄蜂的毒刺，给我枣树的汁液，给我袋熊的粉骨头。” 还有其他一百种东西每一种都有一股难闻的气味。 我要把它们搅拌一下，我要把它们煮很久，一种混合物，一种混合物，一种混合物。

And then, heigh-ho, and down it goes, A nice big spoonful (hold your nose) Just gulp it down and have no fear. "How do you like it, Granny dear?" Will she go pop? Will she explode? Will she go flying down the road? Will she go poof in a puff of smoke? Start fizzing like a can of Coke? Who knows? Not I. Let's wait and see. (I'm glad it's neither you nor me.) Oh Grandma, if you only knew What I have got in store for you!'

然后，high -ho，它就倒了，一大勺(捏住你的鼻子)大口吞下去，不要害怕。 “你觉得怎么样，亲爱的奶奶?”她会死吗? 她会爆炸吗?她会在路上飞奔吗? 她会在一阵烟雾中消失吗? 开始像可乐罐一样嘶嘶作响? 谁知道呢?我不会，让我们拭目以待吧。 (我很高兴不是你也不是我。)噢，奶奶，你要是知道我为你准备了什么就好了!”